Some Stuff About Me ......

I live in Harrogate, North Yorkshire with my wonderful wife and soul-mate Helen. I have two incredible sons - Evan and Matthew - who are occasionally show up at home, usually when they're hungry or need money. The three of them are the best thing that ever happened to me and I love them all. I spent over 24 years in the Royal Navy, but since I packed it all in and got a proper job my life has gone from strength to strength and I've never looked back. I am a die-hard soul music fan, but my heart truly belongs in the fells of Northern England, it's what I was made for. Please read about my adventures and experiences ....

Monday, 26 December 2016

Death and Joy

So, did everyone have a great Christmas? I truly hope so. I always have an uneasy sense of guilt over the festive period, the knowledge that there are those out there who don't have more food than they can eat, don't have a comfy, warm and secure home and most definitely don't have the luxury of being given expensive presents by people that care for them makes me very introspective and I'd be fibbing if I said it doesn't trouble me. It's the old social conscience thing again, I know that to many my politics will seem slightly to the right of Mussolini on a bad day (not true), but actually I do feel the occasional prickle of guilt.

All this against a backdrop of George the Greek shuffling off this mortal coil and well, it's been a curious 24 hours hasn't it? Say what you will about GM, the man had God-given talent and his death is a loss to the world, I'm sure we hadn't seen all he had to give. It's slightly ironic that his passing coincides with the terrible news of the plane crash in the Black Sea, far more column inches are being devoted to his death than the other 62 unfortunates of the Red Army Choir, it's pretty saddening.  I have a little knowledge of the Red Army Choir and although I don't like the majority of the propaganda-fuelled shite they used to push out, I do enjoy some of their more dramatic and haunting renditions. Nobody does Big Sad like the Russians (and they have good reason) and if your mood is robust enough to stand it, listening to their music is a rewarding experience. Here's a link that gives an example:
 

The one everyone knows is "Kalinka Moya", go to about 51:40 and you'll find it. The blokey in the ice-cream suit is Vadim Anan'ev, a well-known tenor. He was one lucky lad and didn't get on the flight. Strange to think that a lot of his mates are dead now.

Anyhow, back onto Christmas. Leading up to it things went a bit wrong, we had the Tour de Helvellyn Ultra last weekend and while I was busy congratulating myself on a half-decent performance I managed to come down with a stinking cold - gracefully passed on to me by an unapologetic Helen - and that made the week a bit miserable. Things perked up for Christmas Eve, my eyes and nose finally stopped watering and although I still felt a bit crap, it meant I could come out to play. We went up to Horton-in-Ribblesdale to join our friends Stolly and Hester and a whole bunch of others, Stolly is coming up for a "significant" birthday and as a result has decided to do 60 consecutive runs up Pen-y-Ghent. Just to be clear here, by that I mean on consecutive days, but it's still one hell of a challenge and he's been at it in all sorts of diabolical weather, Christmas Eve was his 56th and we joined him. I felt pretty ropey as we started running, but that soon cleared and before long I was really enjoying myself and loving the time out on the fell. Fellrunners are, by and large, my favourite people and today only served to endorse that opinion. We got to the top of PYG in a howling wind and pausing just long enough for a few pics, turned round and enjoyed a fantastic descent off the fell, one that included a good few powerslides on my arse, shouldn't have worn my knackered old X-Talons I guess! Actually, judging by the oversqueaks and shouts coming from behind me I don't think I was alone, I looked back to see both Helen and Hester sliding down the fell in a manner that whilst swift, is not normally recommended.  Back to their house afterwards for cuppas and soup and I was in my happy place, lovely people.

Christmas Day was a lazy sort of day, we had the in-laws around for dinner so Helen was determined to pull out the stops and make it a good one, it was too. A late prezzie opening was followed by what I can only describe as a marathon eatfest, it was lovely but very indulgent. I ran out of steam around 7.00pm and slumped in a chair, I don't know how I could have eaten more. It's a bit odd really, as runners we watch our weight carefully and alarm bells start to ring if I go over the 150lb watershed. More air-raid warning sirens than alarm bells this morning if I'm honest, how can you put on that much weight in one day??? I'll run it off ..... eventually.

It was the annual pilgrimage to the Chevin Chase this morning and I felt pretty crap. It was my first day without a Lem-Sip crutch and I really didn't fancy a hard charge around the Chevin. My feelings to this race are a bit ambivalent, as off-road races go the course is very easy, it's mostly even, predictable terrain and the inclines are gentle .... so why did it feel so bloody hard? Alright, I had the excuse of a 38-mile ultra last weekend to lean on, however other people manage to recover from such things (including Helen), why can't I? Perhaps I really am just getting older and slower.  I can't use the excuse of a cold either, one of my clubmates did a fantastic time, belting round a full eight minutes + faster than me and he's been laid up with a bad chest for the last three weeks. As it was, I finished under the hour, but only just. Compare this to my 2014 time and I was the best part of six minutes slower. I really am going to have to sort myself out, one of the problems with all these long days and hill training is that although you develop endurance AND the ability to endure (if that makes sense), it sure as hell doesn't do much for your leg speed and I think that showed today. If I'm serious about a JNC* attempt next year, I'm going to have to sort this out and get some proper running in again. I'm putting today down as a FAIL.

Incidentally, Jonny Brownlee won it, but only just - Tom Adams from Ilkley gave him a hell of a run for his money and finished just a few seconds behind him, must be hard to go around with a target on your back. As a club, Harrogate Harriers did pretty well, Chris Miller came 6th overall (very good at this level) and we had some excellent vet finishes. I've missed feeling part of the bigger "club" picture of late, I suppose this is because of the lonesome nature of the running Helen and I do, nobody else is daft enough to come with us on our big days out and I can't say I blame them. This was partially rekindled at the Lee Mill relays a few weeks back, but it wasn't enough to keep the fire burning, I will have to try harder next year.

Our next race is the infamous Auld Lang Syne fell race on New Years Eve, watch this space.

* Joss Naylor Challenge

Friday, 23 December 2016

The Ancient Runner

It occurs to me that since we've lived at our current house (something that occurred pretty much simultaneously with my leaving the Royal Navy), I have become a creature of habit. Nothing dramatic, because I have a fairly chaotic nature and have to work hard to keep things on the straight and narrow, I'm talking about getting to work at a particular time, having a cuppa at a particular time of the day, getting up early to go swimming etc.

Well, on those mornings I go swimming (Mon/Weds/Fri) I'm usually out of the house at about 0620 and you tend to see the same people out and about, particularly as I head to my swimming pool via the centre of town .... I'm talking about other runners here of course. Over the years we've had the Retired Army Officer, the Librarian, Mr Bowlegged, Miss HugeArse, Mrs Beercoat and the most notable, the Ancient Runner. The "Ancient Runner" is an elderly gentleman who has been an absolutely consistent feature of my mornings over the past 8 years or so, he really is getting on a bit and I would estimate that he's in his early 90s now. I always see him coming back up the road as I'm driving into town and he inevitably wears the same kit: shapeless black baggy shorts (way too big for him) and a stripey sports shirt of the sort your granddad would wear (like a polo shirt), open at the collar and flapping on his skinny arms. Until recently, his only concession to the cold was an enormous pair of black motorcycle gauntlets, however this year I've noticed he has taken to wearing a tatty old red fleece, the old boy is obviously feeling the cold.

He moves painfully slowly, his running pace is slower than most people's walking pace, his hunched back and scrawny neck accentuate the look of desperation that seems to be fixed to his face. If I'm a bit late and he's reached the junction that leads to his house, he slows (!) and walks home. I've seen him plodding down that road in all sorts of horrible weather, he's out there no matter what and it always looks like he's about to keel over from the effort.

My heart goes out to this old gent. Nobody wants to grow old and he's doing his best to maintain his fitness and keep himself healthy, despite his advancing years. He does his training early and in private, nobody but the early birds are privy to his efforts. I wonder if that's how I'll end up? Desperately trying to keep Father Time at bay, dragging my knackered body out of bed to crawl up and down a miniscule circuit at a snail's pace.  I really admire him, I know he hasn't given up.

And there's the lesson really and something I have to keep reminding myself about. It's really important not to give up.

Friday, 7 October 2016

Frog Graham Round

Right, please grab a cuppa and something to eat, you may be here for a while.  I intended to do this some while back and  I do apologise, it’s easy to keep on putting things off and that’s what I’ve done I’m afraid.  It’s bad of me, particularly as what I’m about to waffle on about has pretty much monopolised my time over the past year and I know I’d regret not getting it all down while it’s (reasonably) fresh in my mind, so, here we go – the story of my  Frog Graham Round.

Not heard of it? It’s obviously owes it’s title to the more famous 42-peak circuit of the Lake District (the Bob Graham Round), but is nowhere near as well-known, despite being around since 2005. The guy who came up with it is Peter Hayes, a university lecturer from up Durham way; he authored a book called “Swim Hiking in The English Lake District” and this is where the Frog Graham Round – or FGR – is defined. It’s a circular route of the NW Lakeland fells covering about 40 miles and 15,800ft of vertical ascent, the tricky bit is that there are four lakes to swim across enroute to the finish in Keswick. I’d heard it being talked about a few years back, but really didn’t give it too much attention until some fell-running/triathlete friends stated their intention to give it a go and I investigated further. I was surprised to find that less than 10 people had successfully done it since Peter’s inaugural round in 2005, perhaps indicative of the severity of the task but possibly simply because the fact of its existence isn’t widely known. I was immediately hooked and thought that this was something I could do, my goal there and then was to be one of the first ten people to get round.

Details on the FGR were scarce. Peter’s book is quite hard to get hold of, although you can download it from Amazon for your Kindle. A chap named Richard Walsh maintains a website that details the basics of the round and the list of successful completers, but there’s not much more. I then looked at the people who had got round thus far and the most notable was Tim Mosedale, whose name is well known in the outdoor world.  Tim is a  four-times Everest summiter (that’s fairly hard isn’t it?), he’s also the bloke who in 2015 decided to raise some money for charity by doing the big Lakes triple – in this case that meant swimming the length of Windermere, cycling the Fred Whitton route (112 miles) and following that with a Bob Graham Round. Once I’d found Tim’s blog, I had some hard details of the FGR to go on.

I could spend a long time writing about my preparation for this, way too long. Those who know me and my fastidious nature will have no doubts that I recce’d the route thoroughly (a good part of which I knew pretty intimately in any case) and had a great time doing it, clocking up some serious mileage and making some appalling navigational decisions in the process, well, you have to explore all options don’t you? From the very outset I felt that the key to success was making it so that the four swims – across Bassenthwaite, Crummock Water, Buttermere and Derwentwater – were just incidental obstacles along the way because, truth be told, there’s actually more feet per miles ascent in the FGR than the BGR and considerably more than long, tough fell races like the Old County Tops, so survival on the fell was going to be main thing. If I couldn’t complete each swim and follow it with a hard fell section, then it was clearly going to be a non-starter.  But how to make it so that swims were just “incidental obstacles?”  A bit tricky I thought.
Carol Morgan and Myself on an FGR Recce (High Stile)
I love swimming and picked up the reins several years back when I began to compete in the odd triathlon. However, my technique sucked and although I had a useful turn of speed over shorter distances, I felt it needed to be better for an attempt on the FGR. I had sinky legs, a number of dead spots in my stroke, a rubbish catch and was prone to crossing over from the left. I eventually cured the majority of these problems, but it was a long, long and very tiring journey for a bloke whose life is already jammed full anyway. It mostly consisted of three morning sessions a week, up at 0530 to be in the pool by 0630. I was helped along the way by my swim partner Emma, but as time went on she had to give up on our sessions due to her business expanding and early morning PT clients. It was up to me and I won’t deny I found it hard to keep the momentum going, particularly over the winter. I stuck at it though and my swim stamina slowly improved and I began to enjoy it a lot more. My body shape changed and I developed some proper swim muscle, my weak left shoulder became a thing of the past and I knew I was ready when I was knocking out 3,000 metres before going to work. I should add that as the weather got better I was swimming more and more in open water, my triathlon club has access to the lake in the middle of Ripon racecourse so I was in there whenever possible. Of course, I was also swimming the lakes of the FGR as well, however this didn’t go too well when I tried to swim across Crummock Water the week after the last snow of the year – it was icy, bitterly cold and I got out of there so fast I think I just skimmed across the surface. Not a good start really and it didn’t do my morale any good. It was the Old County Tops fell race the following week and it was a  tough outing in bad conditions, so I thought a little swim the next day would give me a good idea of where I was. I decided to swim from Calf Close Bay on Derwentwater to Rampsholme Island (the last mandatory CP on the FGR) then swim back. I was absolutely knackered, it was a real fight and gave me some idea of just how bloody hard this was going to be. If I’d known just how hard, I might have given up there and then.
Contemplating the FGR post-OCT
Things didn’t go smoothly on the lead-up to my projected date at the end of June. For starters, I took a nasty fall while descending the back of Fleetwith Pike, this did some serious damage to my left knee and shin, moreover I managed to bruise my ribs into the bargain and as anyone who’s suffered this will tell you, it hurts like hell, particularly when you try to run. This little faux paus resulted in a visit to the minor injuries unit in Keswick where the very efficient nurse there patched me up. I think they’re very used to dealing with broken fell runners and I was seen and shoved out with commendable speed.
As if all this wasn’t bad enough, pretty much the following week I was back in the Lakes training and following a leg 2 run, did my first training swim across Bassenthwaite in horrendous conditions. It took a lot out of me (probably more than I had to give at the time) and I can remember just sitting on the ground at Beck Wythop, too tired to get my wetsuit off and feeling that it was all too much. My companions had retired to the warmth of their car and I felt totally alone and exhausted. I didn’t know at the time, but I was coming down with some filthy cold virus and I guess that final effort across Bassenthwaite lowered my resistance to the point where it was All Systems Go for Mr Virus. It was horrible, I felt absolutely crap and it was clear that one way or another, my attempt was looking shaky. As it was, the weather came along and saved me because the week leading up to my projected date was absolutely awful and it was with some relief that I cancelled. The problem now was that I had had a load of friends booked in to run with me on the fell, however it looked very much like hardly any of them would be available in the short term. Whatever happened, I was going to have to do it with a skeleton crew.
The diary was beginning to look very full. I’d promised to help my friend Elise on her BGR attempt on the 29th July, moreover we had the dark shadow of the UTMB looming over us in late August. There really weren’t many options, so I was more or less forced into an attempt on Saturday 23rd July and this is what transpired. I put out the call for volunteers and just came up with enough bods to do it (five people), although it meant that most of them would be running two legs with me on the fell. This was important to me, from the very outset I’d decided that I wanted it to be a social occasion, something that I could share with some friends. Yes, I could have done it solo but I’m a sociable kind of bloke and it wouldn’t have been half as much fun without some company and not at all what I wanted. I would be carrying my own wetsuit on the fell and using an inflatable swim bag (a “ChillSwim“) to tow my kit behind me when in the water.
The timings on the FGR are critical. You don’t have to be a genius to work out that you want to be doing the swims in daylight, moreover I wanted to finish at a decent time in the evening so that we could have a beer and celebrate afterwards. A lot of it was guesswork, but I went out there with a schedule of 14hrs 30min and fingers firmly crossed. Perhaps that’s an understatement, because I was crossing everything that would cross, throwing salt into corners, muttering incantations and praying to my forefathers that this was going to go well.  It was too late to sacrifice my first-born, he’s appreciably bigger than me and would have objected.  In all seriousness though, I knew only too well how easy it would be for disaster to strike, I would be swimming alone and knew that later on in the round it was going to be a real effort.   I never did have any common sense, it’s sobering to think that in my advancing years things haven’t changed much.
We met Emma, Chris and Paul at Keswick’s Moot Hall at 0345 (the FGR shares the start/finish with the BGR, it also has the same first summit) and after some nervous kit faffage we were off at 0400 on the dot. Emma and Chris had headtorches, but I hadn’t packed one, banking on dawn arriving before I really needed one. That’s pretty much as it worked out, by the time we were halfway up Latrigg the first twinklings of light were breaking up the darkness and I felt relaxed and in good company. I’ve done this climb up Skiddaw any number of times and knew exactly what to do, although care was needed: I was carrying a wetsuit and heavy pack, the last thing I needed was to charge up there at BGR pace and overcook it, I needed to arrive at Bassenthwaite relaxed and in good order. Skiddaw was shrouded in cloud and I knew that it was likely to burn off later in the day, however a jacket was needed to keep the chill at bay. Everyone with me knew the ground intimately and we had no problems hitting the summit and then swiftly finding the trod off down to Carlside. Chris had very kindly recce’d this bit for me and after Carlside and the tarn he had worked out some fast lines through the bracken that took us down to White Stones and then the track at the top of Dodd Wood, from here it was a long descent down to the visitors car park, across the road then down to Bassenthwaite Church, this is the second mandatory CP on the round. No messing about here and it was straight into my wetsuit, although I have to say that this is not as easy as you might think when you’re a bit hot and sticky after a long run down one of England’s highest mountains.
Bassenthwaite at Dawn
There was a bit of faffage getting my kit and rucksack into the swimbag (forgot to take out goggles and they were at the bottom), but once sorted I was into the lake and very fortunately, it was calm and still. The others ran back to the Dodd Wood car park where Chris had his car, they would drive round to Beck Wythop on the other side of the lake (seven miles by road) and meet me there. It was an easy swim, I relaxed and deliberately took it easy, breathing every 4th stroke. Every now and then I swapped sides for no other reason than to the left you have a marvellous view of Dodd and several other Lakeland fells, it felt like I was massively fortunate to be able to do this, it was a beautiful morning (around 0630 I guess) and my spirits were high.
The Frog Emerges
I might have been a bit too relaxed going across there, because I was a minute or two slower than projected, but hey, in the grand scheme of things that wasn’t going to make any difference and I was sticking to my plan that the swims had to be “mere incidentals” otherwise the scope for disaster was huge. I crossed the A66 to the layby at Beck Wythop and Chris, Emma and Paul had just beaten me to it, Helen was there along with my clubmate Simon, both of them were going to be running on Leg 2 with me while Emma took over road transport duties. I had a bit of trouble getting my wetsuit off, the problem was that like many others I was struggling with the physiological effects of swimming with minimal leg movement, I don’t know the real reason for this but I do know that as soon as I went from a horizontal to vertical position, cramp in my lower legs (calves, feet, adductors) struck immediately, therefore it was difficult to get the bloody wetsuit off. I don’t think this is the sort of cramp associated with electrolyte depletion, this is something else entirely – I just don’t know how to combat it. Of course you can kick more when swimming and that sort of mitigates it, but the swimbag makes that much more difficult, it trails from your waist you see, so it’s the classic triathlete’s taildrag or nothing.
I eventually got sorted and on my way, the cramp stopped as soon as I began running.  Wierd eh? From Beck Wythop you cut through the woods and then come out on the Thornthwaite Road, then it’s a bit of a slog until you reach the foot of Barf, the first summit of Leg 2. I’ve stopped thinking that Barf is a funny name for a mountain, there’s nowt funny about it at all. It might be small, but by God it makes up for that in severity, it’s a properly steep climb to the top. Good potential for getting it all wrong too, the first time I recce’d this I went up via Slape Crag, this is – unbeknownst to me at the time – a Mountain Rescue black spot and I totally understand why, but that’s another story!  It was getting warm and as we laboured upwards, the cold water of Bassenthwaite became a distant memory. We reached the summit 10 minutes ahead of schedule and I stopped to take in the marvelous panorama; it’s a cracking view from Barf and if you haven’t been up there, please accept my recommendation, winter or summer it just delivers.  It was turning into a lovely day, just a few clouds in the sky and I felt like I had the upper hand, I was loving it.
Myself and Simon on Grisedale Pike
Lord’s Seat and Ullister Hill came and went in a flash, then it was down the wide, alpine-like trails to Whinlatter before a brief detour onto the mountain bike trails and then to the foot of Grisedale Pike. This is a proper climb and one I’d been dreading, but it didn’t seem so bad, I was soaking up the scenery and with Simon and Helen chattering away beside me we reached the summit at 0854 precisely, I was still 10 minutes up on schedule.

On Hopegill Head
From here it’s a rocky detour to Hopegill Head (this is the little “nobble” you can see to the left of Grisedale Pike) and then what must be shortest split on any major round, just three minutes to Sand Hill. This was all familiar territory and I was moving well, we found the rocky trod up the front of Crag Hill (or Eel Crag as it’s known) and scrambled our way up the side, saving loads of time over the more boring run up to the col between it and Grasmoor.  We flew down to Wandope and on to Whiteless Pike, by now I was about 14 minutes up on schedule and believing that I could really do this, however I knew the descent down to Low Bank and Rannerdale was likely to be very overgrown and I wasn’t wrong. No way could I take my intended line, when I’d last recce’d this bit there was barely a scrap of bracken to be seen, now it was completely overgrown and I had to take the long way round. I guess I severely underestimated this bit in my schedule, because I lost 6 minutes here, but it didn’t really trouble me, truth be told I had other things on my mind: The swim across Crummock Water was looming and my issue was my wetsuit, I didn’t want to wear it. I knew it would save loads of time not to have to change in (and out) of the damned thing, but even at that very late point I hadn’t made my mind up. The weather had been quite good that week, but Crummock Water is notoriously cold …. what to do?

Crummock Water and Low Ling Crag
Running down to Rannerdale I was greeted by Emma and made up my mind: I was now 8 minutes up on schedule and wanted to maintain my advantage, it was only a shortish swim across to Low Ling Crag, how hard could it be? Now, I have to tell you that this was a very foolish decision and could have cost me my life. Open water swimming is an inherently risky business if you don’t take proper precautions, one of those is acclimatising your body to cold water and I hadn’t, not even a bit. I jammed my rucksack and the rest of my kit and rucksack into the swim bag (it was a bit of a squeeze), on with goggles and swimcap, then away I went to worried looks from Helen, Simon and Emma. There was a diving club getting ready at the side of the water, they were all in full immersion suits and looked at me like I was mad. In retrospect, they were absolutely right.
Not One of My Better Decisions ....
Once the initial shock was over it didn’t feel too bad, but there was no doubt about it - it was bloody freezing!  I forced my face and chest down into the water to compensate for the lack of wetsuit buoyancy and tried to focus on my breathing.  It was bitterly cold though and straight away I could feel a peculiar numbness creeping across my face.  Focus.  I wanted to kick, but the swimbag behind me made it difficult, the damned thing was getting in the way.  Up the stroke rate, get the blood flowing …. got to get across quickly, I started to realise that this might not have been a smart idea, my body had definitely come to the same conclusion and had started to divert all bloodflow to vital organs and I was beginning to lock up from the waist down, heck, I knew this really wasn’t good and I was in trouble. If that wasn’t enough, I was worried that the swim bag was going to burst open, it really was packed tight with kit and even though it was buoyant, the thing was heavy enough to be an obstruction in the water.  Looking back, I have no idea how I safely reached Low Ling Crag, it would have been easy enough to panic but I had enough about me to focus on survival and just crashing out the strokes, long strokes with a high elbow and strong pull, just aiming for the other side on auto-pilot.
Rannerdale Knotts - the View From Low Ling Crag
I could see Chris and Nick waiting for me, both looked worried.  My plan to swim around the right hand side of the crag was abandoned and I just hit the crag on the nose and clung to it, my legs immediately locking solid and the pain caused me to bite my lip hard, it was awful.  Eventually I scrambled out of the water and Nick draped his jacket around my shoulders, I was shaking violently and not in a good place, I guess it’s fair to say that any advantage I’d gained in not wearing a wetsuit was completely lost, massive mistake.  The weather was still OK, so I warmed up quickly enough and I was keen to get going, so dragged my fell shoes and manky socks out and wrestled them on, to be honest it was a relief to be getting back to running mode and we set off up the side of the next FGR obstacle:  Mellbreak.
If you know the Lakeland Fells, you’ll know Mellbreak.  It’s the steep-sided monster to the North of Crummock Water, quite a plateau on top and it has in fact got two summits, the South being the “proper” one.  I’d recce’d this twice before and knew it was going to be emotional, it’s terribly steep and there are no trods or walkers routes – you go up there the best way you can and hang on for dear life.  I knew from Tim’s account that there was going to be a big problem with bracken, but I didn’t really appreciate just HOW bad it was going to be, I felt like Dr Livingstone hacking through the jungle.  It was difficult enough going up something this steep without a bracken wall to hack through.  It was murder, the swim across Crummock had done me in a bit and every upwards step felt like torture, I was totally knackered.  Eventually we got through all that crap, but things then went a bit amiss when Chris announced he wasn’t feeling too good, was turning back and would see us over at the bottom of High Stile.  He didn’t say it, but it transpired that he’d turned an ankle – that swelled up like a balloon – and I guess he just didn’t want to worry anyone.  My hero.
Nick and I carried on, finding the Mellbreak summit without difficulty and then charging on to the long descent that takes you down to Scale Beck, surprise, bracken has grown to head-height here too. We bashed our way through and it was only by luck that we found the indistinct trod that leads down to the beck, from here it’s a climb – a long climb – up to the summit of Red Pike (the Ennerdale version) before going across the rocky ridge to High Stile.  This is one of the big ones that looks so forbidding when you stare down the valley and from Buttermere, you would be forgiven for thinking it would be impossible to come down the nose via Grey Crags, however this really is the FGR route.  It’s actually faintly cairned, but it’s far from an easy descent and you really need your wits about you or you could end up getting to the bottom a bit faster than you’d want to.  In training I did this a few times as it’s by some margin the worst descent on the round and I estimated that a reasonable split on the day would be 28 minutes, it actually took me 37, sadly.  This is partly because I was getting a bit tired by now, partly because I was being very careful, but also because the lower slopes were – surprise – covered with bracken and it was a proper pain hacking through it to Horse Close.  Bracken is definitely the curse of the FGR, the lines are too seldom trodden for them to become permanent paths, so you have to take the route as it comes.
Horse Close with Buttermere behind
As we approached Horse Close (this is the little wood on the shore of Buttermere), Nick peeled off to run around the lake and there was Chris as promised.  He looked OK, much to my relief.  Buttermere is much shallower than Crummock Water and it’s the shortest swim on the round, so I didn’t have any qualms about swimming it without a wetsuit, despite my earlier experience.  I ripped off my shirt and fellshoes, jammed all the kit back into the swimbag, googles off and I was away.  I did this swim in 6 minutes in training, today it took me a little over 7, however it was with a real sense of relief that I reached the other side and was met by Helen and Em, I was 75% of the way in and still up on schedule – I was in with a real chance of getting round, the only question now was whether leg 4 would break me before the final and longest swim across Derwentwater?
Frog Inbound - the end of the Buttermere swim.
I set off on leg 4 with Em, Simon (who had rejoined us) and Nick who had just managed to beat me with a focused dash around the end of the lake.  Leg 4 starts with an unholy climb up the back of Robinson, it’s a bit testing on fresh legs and an absolute swine when you’re tired and on your chinstrap.  It’s a funny thing, Robinson (as many will know) is the final summit of the Bob Graham Round and in terms of climb from Hindscarth isn’t much at all, as you’re already fairly high up when you approach it.  This thought had lulled me into a totally false sense of security, but when I first recce’d it all that was blown straight out of the water; it’s the “Yewbarrow” of the FGR without question.  Much sweating and bad language later we hit the top and then it was a straight reverse of the BGR line down to Littledale Edge, over to Dale Head and then the race line down to Dale Tarn.  Spirits were high, Emma was running well and skipping along in front of us, we were enjoying ourselves and focusing on the job in hand.
Climbing High Spy
High Spy came quickly and we had no problem picking out the Anniversary Waltz racing lines back to Catbells.  This was one part of the round that I hadn’t recce’d under “exam conditions”, I’d intended to do it but events had sort of conspired against me, the result being was that I’d had a guess at the splits, a bit optimistic as it turned out.  We were all running well, but I still lost a bit of time enroute Catbells, my own fault I guess.  My advantage was all but lost at this point and I was about where I’d predicted, but this was, of course, on a 14:30 schedule so I had no reason to be unduly worried.   Lots of tourists on the summit, but we sneaked round them and bombed down the grassy line that takes you to the col where you drop off to the road and Old Brandelhow, the fell section was all but over.
On Catbells, all OK.  Note Islands Below
While all this was going on I’d been keeping an eye on Derwentwater below me, because the final and potentially biggest obstacle was looming and I had to get my head in the right place.  The wind had got up over the past few hours and I could see that there was quite a chop on the water now, not at all what I wanted to see and I was privately cursing.  Anyhow, we moved quickly downwards and very soon found ourselves at Otterbield Bay, the end was nearly in sight.  There’s a nice grassy bank to lean on there, so it was quickly on with wetsuit and kit packed, I told the others to get round to the Catbells carpark and not wait for me – Nick had his car there and it was their job to get to the other side in time to run in with me, it’s quite a distance by road and you have to go through Keswick you see.
I should point out that the swim across Derwentwater is not as straightforward as you might think.  For starters, it’s the longest (just over a mile) but the real twist is that you to visit three islands enroute, Otterbield, St Herbert’s and Rampsholme in that order, exiting at Calf Close Bay which is more or less parallel with the Great Wood on the Borrowdale Road.  The rules say you have to have your entire body out of the water at each island, this isn’t as easy, because the ground shoals very gradually to St Herbert’s and Rampsholme, meaning you have to snake-belly in (slowly!) and then stand up with great care, the rocks are as slimy as hell and it would be very easy and very bad to fall over here.
The Final Swim
I committed my soul to the waters once again and dived in. Fate wasn’t kind to me from the outset, the bloody Derwentwater passenger steamer chose that precise moment to come across the bay and of course its wash threw me all over the place.   If I’d known what was coming I don’t think I’d have been quite so peed-off, perspective is everything:  I reached the tiny Otterbield Island very quickly and, just as I did in my recce swim the previous week, shimmied up the slimy rock and got my body out of the water.  Straight back in, around the side and I reached out for St Herbert’s, I really wanted to do this final swim justice.
Otterbield Island
I was dead tired, that last slog over the fells of leg 4 had taken the wind out of my sails and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, I’d prepared for that though.  St Herberts was right ahead and as I cleared the bay, my problems really began: My suspicions about the surface state turned out to be entirely justified and beyond the shelter of the bay, the stiff SW wind was really pushing at the swell, creating a hell of a chop that both contrived to crash over my head and blow me off course.  It was coming from my “good” side too, which made things much worse, I can breathe bilaterally of course, but like most swimmers have a side I prefer to breath to, in my case it’s the right.  I was now being forced to breath uniquely to the left and all things told, I was having a bit of a bad time.  Sighting was a major problem, the surface chop meant I only got a second here and there to really assimilate what was in front of me and I have to say that St Herbert’s, with its dense woodland, just blended into the treeline behind it.  It was very hard to stay on course.  This was more a fight than a swim.
Eventually, St Herberts became close enough for me to easily distinguish the shoreline.  I was having to swim well to the right of my intended destination because of the bloody wind, it was incredibly draining and being unable to breath evenly took its toll.  Eventually the ground began to shoal and as I snake-bellied in, I remembered in the nick of time that there were some big submerged rocks thereabouts and it would be easy to head-butt one, that wouldn’t have been good, although I suppose it might have knocked some sense into me.   As planned, I went wide and landed on a little bit of shoreline …. I don’t think I have the words to describe how difficult it is to stand up on those slimy rocks when your body is just running on fumes and legs threating to lock solid at a moments notice. It’s a good thing that I really wanted to do this, otherwise I might have had a bit of a Sense of Humour Failure.
Back in the water, clear the rocks, get deep enough to swim properly, strike out hard for Rampsholme.  Attack the water.  Breathe.  Breathe.  Argh, waves, need air, need energy.  As I’ve said before, I love swimming but I wasn’t loving this.  As expected, at about that point I soon heard the squealing of some horrible gull above me, there is some kind of colony of them on Rampsholme and as you get close to the island they get a bit pissed-off and start dive-bombing you – I had learned this the previous week.  It might not seem like a big deal, but it’s a bit unnerving thinking that you’re going to have some big smelly bird bury its beak in the back of your head.
There comes a point in situations like this when you stop attacking and are forced to start defending, I think I was very close to that here.  I’m only flesh and blood and what I’d been through so far was enough to drain my batteries to more or less zero, I just didn’t have the energy for much more.  I tried to glide out to the front of the stroke and pull through the water, over-rotating to my left to try and get as much air into my lungs as possible.  Eventually, I could see the ground in front of me begin to shoal and soon I was skimming over the rocks of Rampsholme, pulling myself in with my hands.  My landing spot on the South shore was OK, but I still had to stand up on the slimy rocks, I was getting very fed-up with it all now.  No point in hanging around and the final stretch of water to Calf Close Bay was in front of me, I knew my friends would be waiting there for me and I was eager to get this over with.  Back into the water, clear the shallows, swim Martyn, for God’s sake just focus!  The conditions were no better on this side of the island, but I caught a glimpse of Helen waving a towel from the shoreline and knew that I was heading in the right direction, this nightmare swim was nearly over.
Chris Doing a Bit of Frog-Watching
I pushed my chest into the water and tried to concentrate on the job in hand: rotate, high elbows, clean hand entry, push to the front of the stroke, catch …. that was the theory, but the reality was that my arms felt like useless lead weights and weirdly, I couldn’t close my fingers together properly, meaning a much reduced hold on the water.  My swimming efficiency at this point was rubbish and it was costing me, I was angry and tired.  I would have like nothing more than to simply roll over and take a rest, but in those conditions it might not have been the smartest thing to do and I was worried about being hit by cramp again, something that could have been catastrophic.
It took what felt like an eternity to swim those last few hundred yards, I didn’t have enough energy left to combat the water conditions and was forced to do exaggerated rolls so that I could suck enough air into my body, more often than not a wave would crash over me making this a pretty miserable situation.  Eventually I saw the lake bottom and the ground began to shoal, it was nearly over – thank God.  Everyone had gone to Calf Close Bay so that we could run in together and I could see Chris and Nick standing on a rock by the waterside, both looked concerned …. I guess in retrospect they were right to be  I did my final snake-belly in and tried to stand, immediately the most agonising spasms coursed through my legs, not at all what you want when you’re trying to balance on slimy, slippy rocks.  It was as dodgy as hell and really didn’t want a smashed kneecap at this stage in the game.
Glad That's Over!
It took an eternity to get properly out of the water, wriggle out of my wetsuit and jam my running shoes on.  I bundled my wetsuit and kit into my rucksack and we scrambled up the dirt bank to the path that leads round to the Borrowdale Road.  Of course, the bloody cramp disappeared as soon as I got moving, don’t ask me how or why, I’ve given up trying to work it out.  The crap conditions had meant that I took much longer than envisaged getting across Derwentwater and my schedule was blown to pieces, however I was still on for a sub-15hr round and if I got a wiggle on stood a chance of beating the existing record.  There was no messing about and Helen and Emma set a strong pace from the outset, it was just two miles to Keswick but the way I felt at that point it may as well have been twenty.
The girls knew what the score was, both have been involved in plenty of Bob Graham Rounds and the final push for the Moot Hall.  I was dead on my feet, the weight of the rucksack felt like it was going to drag me to my knees and water was slowly draining from the wetsuit and trickling down the back of my legs.  I felt cold and was ready for all this to stop, but you know, it doesn’t take much to turn your emotions around and I was being pushed and encouraged to run, not allowed to slow down and told to move my lazy arse.   I hated it to start with, it’s always hard transitioning from one medium to another and I remember well how terrible the run to Keswick had been on my own Bob Graham, however this was a bit different and as the town’s rooftops came into view I could smell the scent of success and my spirits lifted.  Adrenaline coursed through me and it didn’t feel like such a big deal to run anymore, we ran straight across the roundabout and into the streets, past George Fisher’s and I was dodging around bemused pedestrians, past the Dog & Gun, I was berating and yelling at myself; "run you lazy bastard, run like you never have before, push, PUSH!"  I gave those last few yards everything and practically bounced up the steps of the Moot Hall to hit the door and complete the Frog Graham Round in 14hours, 48 minutes and 37 seconds.
One Very Happy Harrogate Harrier!
It’s difficult to describe the euphoria of situations like this.  I can remember once feeling sad because I thought I’d never again experience the joy of completing something like the BGR or UTMB.  I feel massively privileged to have been able to stand on these famous steps for a second time, it’s something very special and I was overwhelmed;  the Frog Graham Round had consumed me for most of the preceding months and I was literally beaming from ear to ear, I’d never been sure I could get round this monster – how could anyone? – because it drains you in a way that other big physical challenges cannot, but success lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.  Helen and my incredible friends Emma, Chris, Simon and Nick stood under the steps and gave me a cheer, correcting passers-by who thought they were witnessing the end of a successful BGR.  “What’s he done?  A Frog Graham Round?  Really?  What’s that?  Insane”!

Insane.  They were right.


 ** Postcript:

Since I completed the Frog Graham Round there have been over 30 further individuals who have successfully completed it and in retrospect I realise that I could have saved a lot of time on the day with a few minor tweaks to my planning, however the round was still a relatively unknown quantity at the time.  If you are interested in attempting the FGR, I recommend joining the dedicated Facebook group where you will find a lot of useful information, plus of course the Frog Graham website is the best resource available.  Good luck!

Friday, 23 September 2016

Brimham Sunset

It was one of those days yesterday, loads of stress and bad feeling at work, so it was a real relief to get out of the damned place, I don't know how I manage to keep a lid on it sometimes.  Helen wasn't on top form either, a bit wishy-washy and feeling sorry for herself, probably a consequence of the migraine attack she had on Monday. We needed to get out and I knew an effort was required. I put new batteries in our headtorches, threw a lightweight jacket in my bumbag and literally dragged her to the door, there are times when I have to make decisions for her and this was one of those times.

We headed up to Nidderdale and parked in Dacre, this village is a good centre for a number of trail runs and the Nidderdale Way runs straight through it. There was a definite nip in the air and it all felt very autumnal, one of those "I'm glad I've got me helly on" evenings .... a bit sad really, I always get a bit fed-up when summer disappears and of course, yesterday really was the first day of Autumn; I think the weather Gods were listening. I've got a nice circular route from here, so we headed up to Brimham Rocks and were treated to the most gorgeous orange sunset, I got to the fell gate first after the long climb up and just stood there watching, all of a sudden the cares of the day melted away and it was just me and the landscape, a tapestry of green fields slowly fading from view as the sun slid behind the horizon.

From here we turned around and headed South, the route takes you through some dark woods and along some truly ancient pathways, eventually finding the River Nidd and the return to Dacre. Our headtorches were reflected from the sleeping river and the calm of the place seemed to give strength to my legs, I felt strong and wanted to run and do justice to the setting. All too sudden we back at Helen's pug (her little Peugeot car) and knocking the mud off our shoes.

I think the effort was well rewarded.

Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Dirty Weekend

Hello, it's been a while hasn't it? I'm not going to make any excuses for my absence, although I'm tempted, particularly in view of all the nice messages I've received about people missing my blogs. It's a funny thing, the longer you go without blogging the easier it gets to make excuses not to do it and I've been making plenty. Sorry, it's the way things have been y'know: Work, training, internet politics ......I think I've got over it though.

Anyhow, yes, what have I been up to? Well, most recently I've been in the French Alps doing the UTMB TDS (a sort of self-flagellation masquerading as an ultra-marathon) and I've spent a good amount of time training for/messing about with an attempt on the Frog Graham Round, both of those are blogs in planning and I am working on them. How about the Here and Now?

Things have changed a bit hereabouts. Eldest son has got a proper job, moved to Bristol and I doubt I will see him for a millennia. Youngest son has quit his position at Newcastle Uni and is taking a year out before starting his masters, also in Bristol. Last I heard he was in some foul haunt in Bangkok, but I could be wrong. The house is strangely quiet and I'm beginning to repair several years worth of neglect [by me], indeed, only last week I fixed the leaky tap in the downstairs loo - how about that eh? On a less positive note, work is shite and the instigator of much stress. Last week was truly bloody dreadful, so it was with some relief that Helen and I quit town last Friday and buggered off to the Lakes for some much-needed solace (and beer).

We spent the weekend in our van, parked at Mardale Head. This is, as many will know, one of the bigger Lakeland 50/100 CPs and it was strange to be there in much quieter, less frenetic circumstances. We arrived late on Friday in torrential rain, but awoke on Saturday to blue skies and the promise of a great day. And it was.  We went Wainwright bagging, so around Haweswater on the Coast to Coast path, Kidsty Pike, The Knott, Rest Dodd, The Nab and then down to Dalehead (not THAT Dalehead), back up to Angletarn Pikes, Brock Crag and a seriously steep descent down the side of the fell to the Hayeswater filter station, up the side of Gray Crag and back to Thornthwaite Beacon before a stomp back down to Mardale Head via Rough Crag. Beer and chilli in the van afterwards, I nearly felt normal again.

Sunday it was a late start, but we trucked up to Nan Bield, then Harter Fell, Adam Seat (a Birkett I think), then across Gatesgarth to Branstree and then Selside Pike, before finding the Old Corpse Road and back to Mardale Head. We had cuppas and cake in the van before reluctantly returning to the world of mobile phone coverage and everyone howling for my attention.

As cures go, it was pretty good. I think I need more of the same.

Sunday, 6 March 2016

Daylight Robbery

A friend of mine is shortly to do the Manchester marathon as part of a team of two, he's been telling me about some of his experiences with the organisers and I have to say I'm truly appalled. OK, so I don't run on the roads much nowadays so perhaps I'm a little out of touch with how things are, but the cost of running this race (and indeed, anything associated with it) seems nothing short of daylight bloody robbery. Can race organisers really get away with this sort of thing nowadays? Apparently so - get this:

- It's cost his tag team £50 each to enter. Yes, you heard that correctly. Fifty quid to run a half-marathon on a dull and particularly uninspiring inner-city route. Additionally, they were charged a £5.00 "handling fee" for their entry.

- It's going to cost £10 for his parking spot at Old Trafford

- If that wasn't bad enough, my mate's partner has been diagnosed with skin cancer and can't now compete, so he has found a replacement and is being charged £10.50 as an additional "admin fee". They refused to waive the fee, even in spite of the distressing circumstances.

Now, I know there is a demand for local events and I also know that people like mass-participation races like GNR, London etc and there's nothing wrong with that, but when the organisers start to take advantage of competitors it gets ugly. There are others out there that truly do exploit people, often masquerading behind a charity banner (I think the Jane Tomlinson one is the most brazen), but this particular event has shocked me. The entry fee and associated costs are outrageous and would make a serious dent in most working families' budgets. Whatever happened to running being an accessible sport for the masses? Not any more.

It really does make you wonder if some race organisers are a bit complacent? There is one well-known ultra distance race in the Lake District that is always sold-out and it's my (and others) opinion that the organisers know they've got a sinecure and treat the competitors with a level of disdain that is quite shocking. People who love the race(s) leap to their defence, but scratch a bit deeper and you realise that Joe Runner really is being treated like the proverbial dog poop. Runners are my favourite kind of people and I hate seeing them exploited. It seems this is happening more and more.

If you're daft enough to have entered the Manchester Marathon, well, I apologise if I've upset your sensibilities. Or did the organisers already do that?

Monday, 5 October 2015

A Traumatic End

I was very frustrated by the weather last week, by this I mean the fact that it was pretty fantastic for the time of year and I was stuck indoors, completely unable to take advantage of it. So, I ruled that we would be making an early start on Saturday morning and at 0600 routed Harrogate's most grumpy and bad-tempered female grizzly bear out of her pit, destination the Eastern Lakeland Fells.  We were on the road by 0700 (some growling and nastiness was involved, unfortunately) and by 0820 were pulling up alongside the little institute (= village hall) at Kentmere. I planned a clockwise circuit of the entire Kentmere Horseshoe, going over the tops and taking in Harter Fell. It was gorgeous weather, cold to start with but clear and well worth getting out of bed for. I was testing out a pair of Inov-8 X-Talon 200s and these proved to be very good, I've not been able to do this until recently, as the X-Talon just won't accommodate my wide feet, but the 200s have a very wide forefoot and I found them an excellent fell shoe. Don't know if they're going to be as good as my beloved Mudclaws (I'm assured they're better on rock), but definitely worth a go. The weather started closing in as we got to Nan Bield - the inversion in neighbouring Mardale wanted to pour into the Kentmere basin - but we still plugged on the Harter Fell and then down to Kentmere Pike, before following the fell race route back to Kentmere. Am a bit annoyed with myself really, I should have hopped over the wall at Kentmere Pike and done Goat Crag and Shipman Knotts, but just forgot really .... will have to do it next time. And there will be next times, I don't know why we don't visit Kentmere more often, it's easily the most accessible area of the Lakes for us and on a good morning I can get there before Helen has had chance to make more than a few cursory clawmarks in the car dashboard. We dropped into Staveley afterwards so that I could slobber over the latest bike porn at Wheelbase, then it was back home for cuppas and domestic chores.

Sunday was a bit more relaxed, but I did persuade Bobs that she wanted to go for a bike ride.  This is a rare occurrence, despite her being in possession of a suitably exotic piece of bike hardware. I took her round my standard timed loop and it went surprisingly well, though she's very rusty on the thing, the clunks and grinds from the nice Shimano chainset clearly don't cause her as much distress and they do me. Back home without too much trauma, then out fairly sharpish to watch the new "Everest" movie. The film is about the much-vaunted (and disastrous) 1996 expeditions led by Rob Hall and Scott Fischer and by some coincidence I have just finished reading a book on the subject. Despite me knowing the ending (it wasn't a happy one), it was all a bit stressful and harrowing. Go and watch it, but please be prepared for a bit of heartbreak.

Anyhow, the only other news of any note is that the f*cking washing machine chose this weekend to commit hari-kiri, so we are know on the hunt for a replacement.  I suppose I shouldn't complain, it was 15 years old and has never had any maintenance whatsoever, it was the first thing I bought for myself when I got my own little flat in Knaresborough, seems like an eternity ago. It was a Bosch by the way, so that's what I will be looking for to replace it. 15 years is pretty good isn't it? Mind you, the water IS pretty soft round here. When I used to live in Portsmouth, the water was so hard that everything self-destructed very rapidly indeed.

Sunday, 6 September 2015

A Green and Pleasant Land

It's surprising how quickly you adjust. By that, I mean I'm reflecting on the rapid changes in direction that life can deliver. We got back from Chamonix in the early hours of last Monday, having spent the previous week cavorting round the French/Italian/Swiss alps, but a week back at work and all the usual pressures soon erases it from your mind and, to be honest, it already seems like a distant memory. I'd better get my blogging head on if I'm going to record any of it for posterity, otherwise my deteriorating memory might consign it to > null.
 
I did little exercise last week, a couple of early-morning swim sessions where it felt like I was ploughing through glue and one desultory 5-mile run on Thursday evening. I styled this as a recovery run, though truth be told it was more of a "hang on for grim death" kind of a thing. Literally everything hurt, including (worryingly) some patella tendon pain in my left knee. Perhaps I wasn't quite ready for it ..... and I think it's important to give some context here, the UTMB CCC may be the "little sister" of the UTMB itself, but it's still 63 miles and 22,000ft of climb, all of which was done with a hefty pack and elevated temperatures (around 35c). OK, not quite a BGR but close enough to make you hitch your Big Boy/Girl pants up.
 
Anyhow, recognising that another long and hard run just wasn't an option, Helen and I headed up to the Dales yesterday for a very easy jaunt round one of our favourite training routes. We parked at Buckden and then (of course), made an easy ascent of Buckden Pike, past the Polish War Memorial and then followed the Fellsman route to Top Mere. An easy descent down to Starbotton followed, and then a short, sharp slog back up the side of the mountain to the Buckden Lead Mines. Of course, these are long-abandoned and nature is slowly reclaiming every trace of man's efforts to scratch a living from this harsh environment. As always, I found myself wondering about the men who worked here all those years ago and how terribly hard it must have been; the walk to work must have been a killer in the first place. Anyhow, it seemed like we had the whole of Wharfedale to ourselves, the sun was shining and the whole place had that impossibly green, lush look about it that you only get in England. The views were absolutely gorgeous and the whole aura was one of total serenity. Not for the first time, I thanked my lucky stars that I get to do this kind of thing, I truly wouldn't have it any other way. Tell you what: The Alps might be staggering, the Lake District impossibly beautiful - but on a good day, the Yorkshire Dales gives them both a run for their money.
 
Back at the car, we headed over to DT & Stef's place to return the ladies' Yorkshireman trophy (Bobs and Emma won it last year and they're not doing this year's race), a few companianable beers then back home for some late-night chips and curry. A day well spent methinks.

Monday, 31 August 2015

Right Back Down to Earth

It's all a bit hectic and knackered here at Chez Exile, we got back from Geneva at about 0300 this morning, having spent all last week at the UTMB (Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc) in Chamonix. It was a terrific week, Helen and myself along with our friend Carol did the CCC race (Courmayeur - Champex - Chamonix) while our other mate Emma did the TDS (it translates to something like "In the Footsteps of The Dukes of Savoie"). I may blog about it all later, it's a story worth telling.

Anyhow, we're all a bit tired and fractious. Can I just say, for the record, that Geneva airport is indescribably crap? I find it hugely ironic that it's possible to buy a Rolex or Omega watch in Duty Free but you can't get a bottle of water or bag of sweets to save your life. You wouldn't think the mega-efficient Swiss would have such a poor setup, but that's how it is. Probably one of the worst airports I've known and that includes some proper sh*tholes. More work required, Mr Johnny Swiss-Bloke.

Anyhow, the thrust of this little story is that I was forcibly brought back to down to earth this morning: We were starving and so I was despatched to our local Co-Op to get the makings for bacon butties. Now, I don't often visit this establishment, but needs must and it's the closest shop to our house. I grabbed the stuff and in front of me in the queue to pay was a very large and indescribably ugly woman (sorry, it's how it was) buying cheap booze (vodka), fags and National Lottery scratchcards and this was just at 11.30. She looked like she had never smiled in her life, most probably she hadn't. I saw her in the car park afterwards, she was rubbing away at the scratchards with an eagerness that belied her previous demeanour and for a second, just a second, I could see that New Horizons beckoned .... but no, Dame Fortune hadn't smiled and her features sagged along with her shoulders, I guess everyone tries to change their stars one way or another.

She shuffled off, doubtless to start work on her other shopping items. I felt as guilty as hell, my life is so different than hers that it's faintly unbelievable. I'd just returned from one of the most beautiful places on Earth, having spend the week in a luxury apartment with my friends, all of whom are mega-fit and dripping with the latest exotic sports gear. I'd seen and done things that this poor woman could never in her wildest dreams imagine and I feel terrible about it and very humbled.

Sometimes we don't realise how lucky we are.

Monday, 3 August 2015

Grinding It Out

Right, I resolve to kick this blog into action - enough of this procrastination:

Things have been a bit busy of late. It was the Lakeland 50/100 the weekend before last and we stood on the 50 startline for what was our third (and probably final) outing. It went OK, slightly cooler than last year so I was able to keep (de)hydration at sensible levels and the cramp that has plagued me on this event was mostly kept at bay. All in all, it was a successful outing and I trimmed over 30 mins off last year's time to finish in 11:27:06, but the real stars of the show were Helen and our friend Carol.  Helen had a terrific outing last year, finishing in 10:45 and 8th lady, but this year she just surpassed herself to do it in 10:00:47 and 5th lady overall. Of course, she's moaning a bucketload about those 47 seconds, but I am ignoring her. A fine run. Carol just outdid herself to finish the 100 in an astounding 25:47 and 1st lady by some margin, a fantastic result and one that's richly deserved. Slightly amazing that both these (daft) gals went out this weekend and did a trail marathon, finishing 2nd and 4th. Personally, I could barely walk just a week after my one and only 100-mile outing, never mind run!!

This weekend I have been mostly drinking and eating.  Helen was away with Carol at a girls' weekend (which took in the race above), so I faffed around and fixed things on Friday night/Sat morning, then on Saturday afternoon went out with some mates on a circular off-road route around Otley and the outskirts of Harrogate. 20 miles later we came back very wet, covered in mud and having met some considerable nettle patches en-route.  Oh yes, I also head-butted a tree in the process (the tree won). We then drank a load of beer, then went out in the evening to a terrific Indian restaurant where we drank more beer. I retired home, hurt.

Sunday I returned to the scene of the crime for a mutual hangover-bonding session and bacon butties up the Ying Yang (ie. lots of). Feeling shite, I got Sophia out and donned lycra for a hilly ride out in the hills with a pal, the aim being to shake off the hangover. Colossal fail.

Woke up this morning still feeling rough, but I'd promised Em that I would go swimming with her .... thus it was I was shivering in an under-heated pool at 6.30a.m. and wishing I was still firmly held in a wrestling grip by my duvet. 60 brisk(ish) lengths later, I was beginning to perk up a bit. Am knackered now though. Need food.

Thursday, 4 December 2014

Out of Sorts

I'm finding it difficult to be upbeat and positive about things at the moment, this is a bit of a shame because people need me to be just that at the moment and I'd rather not. At least I'm realistic enough to understand that this is almost entirely due to ongoing injury issues and I'm half-berating myself for not taking the time out to let my body heal when it had a chance ..... it's tough, it really is - the call of the hills is hard to ignore

Things aren't entirely bad: my knackered ankle is slowly improving and I haven't gone over on it since the Fell Relays, I have been strapping it up for runs on any severe terrain and so far that's been a good policy. My ITB/knee issues have also calmed down a lot and I have had no discomfort for the last few runs, so all good there too .... the problem is this pelvis/glute/whateveritis and it's been dragging me down. I went for an easy 15 miler on Sunday over what I would consider to be pretty benign terrain, but by the end I was in some pain, moreover I don't WANT to be taking painkillers every time I lace up my shoes.

Anyhow, I went to the osteopath on Tuesday and he loosened off my spine, ribs and pelvis, then last night Helen applied the deep-tissue treatment and I genuinely think we're getting somewhere. It seems that my back/QLs have been inordinately tight and this has exacerbated a ligament deep in my pelvis (underneath the gluteal muscles), so what's been happening is that we've been treating the effect and not the cause. This morning it feels a lot easier, however I am creaking a lot around the lumbar/pelvis region, so probably just need to be realigned. As it happens, I am going to physio tonight so that should address that! Am I spending all my pocket money on physiotherapy and osteopathy? Yes, but I get the sports massage for free - a bar of chocolate and that's it!

The question is, am I fit to do the Frostbite 30 on Saturday?? I don't know, but haven't withdrawn yet. It's my local Nidderdale race and Bobs and I run in that area all the time, I had to miss it last year so will be gutted if I have to do so again. A lot of mates are going to be doing it though, so I might simply have to man-up and do it. If I have to stop running for a while afterwards, so be it. I have the gym, pool and there's always the bike.

Talking of bike, I am going to give mine a bit of an overhaul: In my man cave I have 2 x new Conti GP4000S II to replace the Mavic Yksion tyres that the wheels came with (I don't like them), new brakes, new Ultegra chain, new bar tape and rather lovely Look Keo Classic pedals in red to match the bike. I'll throw all this lot on and give it a good lube and polish, it's good for the soul. And my soul DOES need restoring.

Count your blessings. That's what my mum always said.

Monday, 17 November 2014

Tour of Pendle

I don't like the idea of DNF'ing a race, I've never done it (unless you count my abortive BGR attempt #1) and so seriously considered pulling out of Saturday's Tour of Pendle fell race, preferring the DNS option. I suspect that most people have already heard me whining about it, but I really have been struggling with injury lately and suppose that in typical fashion, I haven't been giving my body chance to repair. Anyhow, I had a last-chance physio session on Thursday where my lovely Aussie fizzikal therapist decided to shove needles into my bum, exciting eh? I'm normally fine with acupunture and am a great believer in it, however on this occasion the horrible little lump of scar tissue that's causing me all the problems decided to hold on to the needles and only released with some persuasion, so it was pretty painful. Once home, Helen pummelled and massaged the offending body part to the point where I was begging for forgiveness, I could only hope the whole thing was going to loosen up and let me run on Saturday ..... as it turns out, it did

It still wasn't great, but for the first time in a couple of weeks it felt like I could thrust off my left leg. It still hurt (quite a lot) deep in my glute and I was struggling to fully lift my knee, but I reckoned that a double-dose of ibuprofen and bit of teeth-gritting might see round. I have to be honest and concede that the Tour of Pendle is not really the place to exercise unwarranted bravado; it's the last AL race of the season and is properly tough, it slowly grinds you down like few other races and there are three monster climbs in the last six miles that makes most runners shed a tear or two. Of course, it's also late in the year, meaning the weather is frequently crap. The eagle-eyed among you will be recalling the heavy rain that we had on Friday night, yes? Oh yes

Saturday dawned and the mist was low over Pendle. We got there early and having registered (just seven quid for a race of this calibre - and that included a technical T shirt!!) Bobs brewed up in the van while I went through a pretty emotional stretching and warm-up routine. There was a record attendance from our club - I think there were six of us - and of course all the usual suspects were in attendance, so lots of pre-race gossip and banter going on.
 
Off we went and I tried desperately to keep things in check, it's WAY too easy to overcook the ToP at the start. As it turned out, I was absolutely fine going up hill, but it started to get a bit painful on the admittedly few bits of level ground and the downhills were just agony, I suppose it must have been the jarring impact that did it. I knew Helen was going for a PB and based on recent form she had every right, therefore I wasn't surprised when she scooted past me just before CP1. Physical discomfort notwithstanding, I was feeling OK and very strong on the climbs, so all in all I wasn't having at all a bad race and it occurred to me sometime after CP6 that my PB for this race, admittedly "soft" at 3:40-ish, could be beaten today. All was going well and I even had a good effort up Big End from CP9 (this is a mean climb, trust me), but things started going a bit wrong as I topped out on Pendle summit/trig point and CP10. I've ran this route loads of times and know the importance of getting a good line down to CP11 and the kissing gate, but in the thick clag and poor visibility I really buggered it up and strayed quite a distance to the West. A smart fellrunner would have had his compass primed and ready to go with a bearing of 185, but I'm not a smart fellrunner and chose to rely on my internal gyro compass and memory, in retrospect a colossal mistake and fail. Big Fat Hairy Fail actually.   I reckon I drifted about 200 - 300 metres in the wrong direction and it was only when I got below the cloud line that I reallised what a balls-up I'd made of it and immediately cut across the fell to get back on the proper line, it was very rough ground and time was ticking away. Back on the correct trod, I bombed down to CP11 and then legged it for the finish, but the sub 3:30 I'd been hoping for was a forlorn hope and I crossed the line in 3:33:05.

I shouldn't be too disappointed, this was a 7-minute PB on one of the hardest fell races around, however I know I could have done it so much better if I hadn't been restrained by my stupid sore glute/hamstring/whateveritfuckingis. My bad navigation coming off CP10 probably cost me at least 3 - 4 minutes, so the sub 3:30 was there for the taking and it's my own fault that I didn't take the opportunity. And I damn well KNEW it was wrong, you can just tell that some things aren't right and this was the case here. On a good day I reckon I could get closer to 3:20, so it's back to the drawing board and hope that I can do better in 2015. 

Helen had a terrific race, staying in front of me all the way and rather annoyingly getting the line correct down to CP11, finishing in 3:24:37 and 5th LV40 overall, that's pretty good at this level. My clubmates all did well, but one did take a minor fall early on it the race, meaning scraped hands and a sore knee - it didn't seem to slow her up much though, so 10/10 for bravery and cracking on to finish the race in a good time. I know a lot who would have pulled out at the first sight of blood!

We had a nice cuppa back in the van afterwards, before crossing the road to the Pendle Inn and a post-race pint. Great to catch up with mates, one of the very best things about fell running is the social aspect and it was with some regret that we tore ourselves away: The Tour of Pendle, it's brutal, but a fantastic experience - I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Friday, 7 November 2014

Self-Flagellation

Last weekend Helen and I went for a little run around the head of Nidderdale and I'm sorry to say that it hurt, at 15 miles my left glute was sending deep stabbing pains down my leg, so I've had to succumb to the inevitable - my various niggles are not getting any better, so I'm on an injury-induced period of no running. Truth be told, I haven't been in good shape since doing the UTMB, I definitely didn't get enough decent rest afterwards so I suppose I've only got myself to blame. It's hard to stop though isn't it?
A friend told me to focus on swimming for the time being and that's what I've done, I'm doing 3 x 1hr sessions a week and things are coming together a bit, I hope to be back up to last year's standard before too long and I'm already looking at some potential 2015 triathlons.  But, it's not enough to keep mind and body going so I have again resorted to the gym and renewed my acquaintance with the hill climb machine. If you've ever dipped into the dubious annals of my blog, you'll know I've used this machine extensively over the last few years and it's undoubtedly done wonders for my leg strength, but I hate it with a burning passion. In fact, "burning" is a great word to use in this context because that's exactly what it does to your legs: I do 3 x 10m intervals on it with about 20secs break between each in order to wipe the sweat off and let the lactate drain from my legs, it is truly agonising if done at the correct tempo. I usually set a minimum threshold of 90ft/minute, meaning I come away with 2700ft in the bag at the very least. I've been trying to push this a bit though, and last night managed 2906ft, nearly killing myself in the process. Jesus, it was hard .... those first five minutes are probably the worst and it's hard to push through the pain as your legs get accustomed to it. Looking back over my training log, 2906ft is my best effort this year so I suppose I should be pleased, however it doesn't come close to the 3000ft in 28.17 I managed pre-BGR in 2012 (still the gym record). I can't see me getting close to that any time soon if I'm honest, it would take some severe work. Anyhow, I finished off the session with 10 minutes on the elliptical trainer to gently let my legs recover and then into the weight room for some strength work. It might sound odd, but I have got one quad that's bigger than the other so I'm trying to even things up a bit - single leg presses are the order of the day.

Tough swim sesh this morning with Em, the pool was busy and the resultant chop on the water's surface made things tough. We cracked the set as planned, but both of us were tired. Em led the last interval of the session and it was our slowest, just within our self-induced limit. I suppose it's been a hard week, notwithstanding the fact that I'm not running at the moment. I wonder if I'll be fit for the Tour of Pendle next Saturday? I'm guessing not.

It's my birthday this weekend, so I intend to take things easy. I was hoping for a bit of nice weather so I could get out on the bike, but it's very wet and bleak here in Yorkshire right now. It might be a weekend to sit in front of the telly with a decent bottlle of red.

Thursday, 16 October 2014

A Langdale Odyssey

I did the Langdale Horseshoe fell race on Saturday and things didn't go quite to plan.  I'm saying this with my tongue firmly stuck in my cheek, because I got round the race in a half-respectable time and in retrospect, I couldn't have hoped for much more as on Friday I was actually on the verge of pulling out; I'd felt like crap for most of the week (some kind of virus going round) and this had really pissed me off as Langdale is one of my favourite races, I had an absolute belter there last year and was hoping that this year's training tally was going to help me to another PB. I'm ever the optimist.
 
Saturday morning arrived and I woke up feeling a bit better, not quite 100% you understand, but well enough to drag my sorry arse around the course.  We set off for the Lakes and the weather didn't look good, early rain gave way to some heavy mist and as we drove up the valley from Ambleside the mountain tops were obscured by some ugly looking black clouds.  Not good, but the weather forecast did say it should brighten later.  Anyhow, following the usual kerfuffle, kit checks and gossip the race got underway and it was clear from the outset that it was going to be emotional.  The rocks were very slippy and the ground was absolutely sodden .... I've been in these parts many times and I genuinely can't remember seeing it this wet.  Of course, there were bound to be accidents and very soon I saw the first, a girl had slipped on a rock close to Angle Tarn and really smashed her knee, there was a lot of blood and gore on display.  Poor lass, it was really mangled and I daresay she won't be wearing mini skirts for a while :-(  There were similar accidents on the horrible traverse under Esk Pike and on Bowfell summit and I'm not surprised, for some reason the rocks coming down off Bowfell felt really greasy and everyone was being cautious.

Things started to brighten up as we dropped down to Three Tarns and began to negotiate Crinkle Crags, I was on a mission here to get the correct line and very soon noticed that several other runners were clearly following me - I felt like the Pied Piper of Hamelin.   Long Top came easily and we swiftly nipped around the Bad Step bypass and very soon I was on that long descent down to the foot of Pike O'Blisco and Red Tarn.  I usually enjoy this a great deal, but today I just wasn't running well and Helen easily managed to stay in front of me.  My legs hurt, they had no boing in them at all and to be honest I was happy just to stay with her.  We slogged up up the final climb together and then across the POB summit plateau, from there on it's one of the best descents in fell running and I'd really been looking forward to it ..... today I was stiff and unwieldy and not running like I wanted to.  Helen had been chasing the girl who beat her to second place at the Grand Tour of Skiddaw and had the bit firmly between her teeth, I was just holding on for dear life and doing my best to stay upright and I didn't manage it.  My right hamstring cramped up badly, I slipped and did a 20ft powerside down the fell, hitting something hard as I did it.  I waved Helen on, but it took a few minutes to shake the fuzz from my head and get back to a decent running pace.  By then any thoughts about my finishing time had gone out of the window and so I slogged down to the cattle grid at the top of the zigzags, charged down through the campsite and then to the finish line in about 3hr20m, so about six  minutes slower than last year and one or two minutes behind my chirpy and speedy wife.
It looked like a warzone at the finish, it seemed that everyone had blood trickling from at least one limb and the rumour was that Mountain Rescue had been deployed to bring three casualties off the course.  The Search & Rescue helicopter had arrived and was in the process of bringing them to safety, all very dramatic but not really what you want to hear - this was a sporting event and while fell running is inherently dangerous, nobody wants to hear about these things.  Other injuries were much in evidence and I was only mildly surprised to see blood streaming down my own right leg; it transpires that my powerslide contributed to a deep gash in the back of my thigh and I hadn't been aware of quite how bad it was.  Nothing compared to what had happened to some others of course.
In total there were seven of us from my club (a record for this race) and we managed to land two prizes :-)  First home was 65-year old Ben Grant who is the current FRA MV65 English champion, he finished in a frankly unbelievable 2:52 and all I can say to that is I hope I can run half as well as him when I'm 65!!  Helen also landed a prize for 3rd LV40, she was actually first LV40  but two LV45s came in front of her if that makes sense.  One of these ladies was Nicky Spinks, so nothing to be ashamed of there.  Don't know who Nicky Spinks is?  I suppose you have to be into fell running .....

As I said, given the circumstances I was pleased to finish in a half-decent time and I suspect that I finished further up the order than I did last year irrespective of my finishing time.  Quite apart from not feeling 100%, I'm wondering if my poor(ish) performance could have been explained by a touch of dehydration?  Without wanting to get too gruesome, I didn't go for a pee until late on Saturday night and the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that dehydration sneaked up on me and degraded my ability to run well.  Certainly I didn't drink anything on the way round the course and I was working very hard on the climbs.

Reflecting on the race, it makes for a dramatic story but the truth of the matter is that it nobody sets out with the intention of getting hurt do they?  Mountain Rescue?  Helicopters?  A & E units packed with fell runners?  It's not good, really.  A few people we know - who are all good ultra distance runners - were doing Langdale for the first time and complaining bitterly about the lack of runnability and dangerous conditions.  I sympathise, but have to say that this highlights what I've been saying for some time - that there is a world of difference between fell running proper and those who pound the trails on marked and defined courses.  We have a number of runners in my own club who have never been near any kind of fell race, let alone one as severe as Langdale and yet like to style themselves as fell runners and I have to wonder why?  It's not like the sport is sexy or even remotely in vogue.  You get cold, wet and dispirited, ocassionaly scared to death, your body frequently hurts and it can cost a fortune in corrective physiotherapy.  If you don't do it fulfill and challenge yourself, there's not much point.