Some Stuff About Me ......

I live in Harrogate, North Yorkshire with my wonderful wife and soul-mate Helen. I have two incredible sons - Evan and Matthew - who are occasionally show up at home, usually when they're hungry or need money. The three of them are the best thing that ever happened to me and I love them all. I spent over 24 years in the Royal Navy, but since I packed it all in and got a proper job my life has gone from strength to strength and I've never looked back. I am a die-hard soul music fan, but my heart truly belongs in the fells of Northern England, it's what I was made for. Please read about my adventures and experiences ....

Monday, 20 January 2020

More Best Laid Plans ...

We did the Hebden 22 fell race on Saturday, this event is one of those that kick the season off and actually, it's quite a toughie. Its billed as a 22 mile slog around the Calder Valley with about 4k of climb involved, so enough to be challenging.  Navigationally it's a very twisty-turny and it's easy to mess it up, it's also a race with a bit of an identity crisis; until 2019 it was ran by Calderdale LDWA, but they backed out and from 2019 onwards (i.e. the last two races) it's been promoted by a local Scout group, so not unlike the Rombald's Stride event. I say "identity crisis" because although it's sold as a race, it really isn't - there are no prizes, no age categories and as far as I can tell, no acknowledgment that a given person has won. Last year they really screwed the results up and had no record of which lady had come home first ..... not good really. I think these foibles can be forgiven to an extent, but this [race] is always sold out and presumably scoops in a load of cash for the Scout Group, so I think they need to get that identity problem sorted out.

I'd optimistically set 4:20 as my target, I've never got under four hours here and last year did 4:37, could my improved health lead to a better finishing time? Things got off to a decent enough start and I felt I was running well, keeping Helen in sight for the first few miles. I'd studied the map long enough to be confident I wasn't going to get lost, but then disaster struck with an early fall in the mud (of which there was a lot), meaning a bit of a slide until some convenient rocks halted my progress. Yes, it fecking well hurt and didn't set a good tone for the rest of the race, I was focusing way too much on sore knees and not enough on terrain/navigation. It was a nice day though, so no problems with determining the lie of the land and I managed to more or less get the route spot-on until my silly preoccupied head completely missed a crucial turn coming out of Cragg Vale and thing started to go a bit awry. The course was really chewed-up due to the recent wet weather and it made things tougher than I can remember, certainly I was slower on some descents than I would have liked and I was having cramp issues that made things worse. I proceeded to miss a crucial stile above Mytholmroyd and for some reason it made me really angry.  My reason goes out of the window when the red mist is down, the result being that I forgot to cross the field below Scout Road and had to go the long way round behind the farm, minor mistakes I guess, but they cost time and I should know a whole lot better. I stomped down the finishing track feeling relatively strong, finishing time 4:25:40, so not terrible but could have been better, I feel it should have been ten minutes faster.  I'm not sure which is worse, the fact that I made some minor nav errors or that I missed my target time!!

Results came out this morning and it's a similar mess to last year. They didn't have any kind of a finishing funnel and Helen is listed as coming behind several runners she comfortably beat, so not good really. Constructive feedback to race organiser needed methinks.  

Wednesday, 4 December 2019

Grabbed With Both Hands

Well, I'd say that was a weekend seized!  It was a *significant* birthday for Helen last Friday and in order to celebrate I'd been planning a surprise for her, this was a weekend away in her favourite place (the Lake District) with a load of friends and involving a good bit of time out on the fells. The dismal weather last week made me think that it was all going to be a bit of a washout, but the Weather Gods smiled on me for a change and Friday dawned crisp and clear with a good forecast for the rest of the weekend, it was all systems go.

The first order of business was The Espresso Round. This is the little brother of the Abrahams Tea Room Round (ATR) which we did exactly a year back. If you've heard of neither, please let me explain: The idea of the ATR is that you run round all the fells that are visible from the tea room window in George Fisher's in Keswick, it's a decent enough challenge and involves about 30 miles and 10,000ft of climb .... I remember we did it on a bitingly cold day with snow and ice involved, it was a bit of a struggle at the time, particularly as I really wasn't too well and fell-running probably wasn't good for my health at that point. The Espresso is not as taxing, you must visit Catbells, Rowling End, Causey Pike and then Barrow before legging it back to Keswick, it's that simple. I should add that both circuits start and finish outside the GF shop and it's up to you how you navigate between the various fells, clear as mud? Alright then:  We met up with Dave H and Simon F and also the fells legend that is Little Dave, then shortly after 11.00am we were off.  It was a cracking run, the skies were blue with very little wind and the visibilty was just fantastic. Catbells came and went very quickly, we doubled back off the summit in the same way you do in the Anniversary Waltz/Teenager with Altitude fell races, then took ROWs across the Newlands Valley until we found ourselves at the foot of Rowling End. Quite a hard climb followed up to the ridge and then onto Causey Pike, I was disappointed that the much-vaunted angry grouse was nowhere to be seen as I had intended to twat it one :-)  From the summit of Causey we took various routes down to Stonycroft Gill before climbing up to Barrow, the final summit. Barrow is flipping fantastic to run down, the gradient is just perfect and I charged down there with Little Dave, enjoying it a great deal and pretending that I was good at this. There is a fell-runners line that deviates from the main path and Dave zoomed off in that direction, taking me with him; I've not been that way before, it was out of bounds on this years Coledale Horseshoe fell race, why I have no idea as it didn't seem to be on private land or particularly eroded. From there it was a hard right to pick up the roads and pathways that take you through Ullock, Portinscale and the BGR line back to Keswick, we finished in about 3hrs 30, but that involved a lot of faffing around and photo-taking on summits etc, Strava says it was 2:55 moving time and I have no doubt that under race conditions something like 2:30 - 2:45 would be possible. Overall distance 12.36 miles.

Following cuppas/cake in the Tea Room I took Helen back to Newlands where our home for the weekend was located, a lovely old cottage built on the side of the fell with a grand view of Robinson and High Snab Bank. Carol had been in beforehand and decorated with birthday banners and balloons, so it was all a great surprise for her.   It was a fantastic place for a bunch of fell-runners to hang out for the weekend, very quirky, big open fire, flipping tremendous location. We went to the Swinside Inn for birthday tea, this was another winner and one of our friends was kind enough to bring along a fantastic birthday cake (a carrot cake - her favourite) that was just delicious. Various people had arrived by now and we had about 10 - 12 people staying, all very social and just what I'd hoped for.

Next morning a group of us set off to cover a fairly big circuit of the fells thereabouts, the route was my idea and predictably I came in for some abuse regarding my route choice: It was a terrible start, straight up the side of the fell to Aikin Knott and there was no real defined path, it was just up and bash through the heather. From there it was on to Ard Crags, before dropping straight off the side and up to Sail Pass. Onto Sail and then Eel Crag (Or Crag Hill, whatever you call it), by now it was getting a bit nippy, but not enough to stop the usual piccie taking and faffing around on the little tarn on top of Sail. We ran down the familiar line to Wandope and on to Whiteless Pike, before taking the TWA descent (steep!) down to Newlands Hause, then up to High Snockrigg and the perils of Buttermere Moss. It was mostly frozen, but everyone got wet feet I think, not really what you want in those temperatures ... an incentive to keep moving! Robinson and Hindscarth followed, we then followed the Hindscarth Ridge down to the valley bottom, picking up the three Birkett summits enroute (High Crags, Red Knott and Scope End) taking my tally to 427. It was a bit of a complex job winding our way through the various ROWs back to our cottage, but we managed it despite a bit of a discussion with a local property owner (hey, if he want's to buy a home with a public right of way outside the front door what does he expect?) and it's always nice to find new parts of the Lake District, total distance about 11.5 miles, but the 5,100ft of climb was what hurt.

We all mucked in that night and had curry and beer, Helen received birthday cake #2 and was over the moon with it all, she looked relaxed and very happy . There were too many of us to play Exploding Kittens, so Trivial Pursuit was the order of the day, folding around 10.30pm because we were all knackered .... I was fine with this, as I was completely rubbish and was losing badly.

Next morning it was a case of shoveling in huge amounts of breakfast, then getting out on the fell where I'm sorry to say the sausages, delicious though they were, repeated on me for the next two hours.  After some deliberation we went back over to Low Snab and climbed the nose of Hindscarth before Dale Head and the usual dilemma getting down to Dale Head Tarn (it's hard to find the best line). A brisk stomp up to High Spy, then it was across Maiden Moor before dropping down the Newlands again from the col above the old Goldscope mines. Total distance about 10.5 miles.

Everyone but Dave disappeared or returned home that evening, so we had the big old place to ourselves. We had leftover curry for tea and spent the night in front of the fire, catching up with the world and watching the latest episodes of His Dark Materials and War of The Worlds. Next morning it was clear that the Gods really had been on our sides, as the weather was completely different; Robinson was clouded in and the cold clarity of the previous days had disappeared. We said cheerio to Dave - he was going to Ennerdale to bag his final two Wainwrights - and regretfully said goodbye to the Lakes, both of us had to work that afternoon and were about about as reluctant as is possible to return :-(

So it was a brilliant weekend and I'm so pleased that it worked out, in running terms we covered about 34 miles/11,500ft and despite some sore bits here and there, appear to have survived the experience - we're not exactly match-fit, but definitely getting there. We're all fighting the years and accumulated wear and tear, but I'm glad that it's turning out to be a decent scrap.

Tuesday, 26 June 2018

It's Not Always Good ...

Last week was a curious one. It felt like everything went wrong, but I guess that's exaggerating the truth a little .....I think both of us were a bit smashed-in after a very hard weekend on JNC** support duties, Monday passed in a bit of daze (this is increasingly the case for me nowadays - it's the medication), but Tuesday evening came and seeing as Helen was working I thought I'd go out for a little run by myself: I've had bad runs before, but in all honesty this one sucked big-time, my biomechanics were terrible and what should have been an easy six-mile route turned into a nightmare and I was in bits when I got home and I've been nursing a sore hip all week as a consequence.

I had Wednesday off work to do some work on our van (aka "The Moneypit") then Thursday it was reluctantly back to the grindstone. I came home in a terrible grump, so Helen suggested a nice run out on some of the country trails hereabouts, you know, something to lift our spirits. We chose a route that we normally run as part of our winter headtorch series and once out there, were reminded of why we do it in winter. The grass, thistles and nettles made it an absolute fucking nightmare, so much so that we diverted in order to reach broader and less irritating pathways. Funny though, for all the annoyances we finished this little run very strongly, you would never have expected it at the start.

The plan was to head up to the Lakes on Friday evening, but we didn't go.  It's a long story, but basically the only reason we were going was so that Helen could recce some of the L100 route and she doesn't need to, the route is a known quantity. Also, she's been read the riot act lately and knows that she has to restrict her mileage a bit, otherwise permanent injury is the likely consequence. It was an ugly discussion, but she gave in eventually, compromising with the promise of a long bike ride on Saturday and run up in the dales on Sunday. I haven't been out on the bike much this year, so it was nice to be reunited with the bike I put together a couple of years ago. It was a bit creaky the last time I rode it, so a bike-mechanic friend looked at it for me and sorted out a few things, the result was a creak-free bike and it was a real joy to ride :-) Could tell I hadn't been out on two wheels much of late though, it was hard work in places. Also, I stupidly included a descent of Greenhow Hill in our route, this caused immense pain to my damaged right hand and I didn't dare go too hard in case I couldn't brake as hard as might be necessary. I should point out that Greenhow is an absolute b***ard of a hill to go up and claims a life every now and again coming down, it's not one to be taken lightly.

Sunday we didn't stray far and did one our stock routes from Thruscross up and around Simon's Seat. We've done it loads of times, but it's one of those runnable trails that allow you to really test how fit you are, it's only the bit from Appletreewick up to the crag itself that you can't run. I felt absolutely crap, very disappointing after a good outing the day before. Helen, by contrast, was flying and forgetting her injury niggles for a moment, she's looking as strong as I've known her. I am convinced she'll make the L100 start line, but how she's going to do is in the lap of the Gods. Based on her Cumbria Way victory last year I am convinced she can do well and claim a podium spot. I know for sure that she can run well under 30 hours, but the big question is just how much by. I guess time will tell.


** JNC = Joss Naylor Challenge

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

The Lure of the UTMB

It's UTMB week and for the first time in four years, I'm not going to be there.  I was discussing this with a friend (Chris, in case you're reading) last week at Stickle Barn in Langdale and although he was pretty ambivalent about it all,:-( I am pretty gutted and feel that I'm missing out on something important, however I suppose that given my ongoing issues, the fact I didn't apply for a place this year is a blessing. I did the full UTMB in 2014, the CCC in 2015 and TDS in 2016, finishing each one and all via the full route. This might not sound much, but it's a record of which I'm actually quite proud, the odds are against this happening are high and it looks like the conditions this year are going to result at least one of the routes being curtailed.

The UTMB comes in for a bit of bad press from certain quarters (mostly from people who haven't done any of the races) but I always leap to its defence. There's no question that it's the biggest ultra marathon in the world and the inevitable hype and glitz that goes with that is anathema to the souls of a good number of long distance runners, however that's really missing the point. The UTMB is a celebration of long distance running in the most fantastic setting imaginable, it's a coming together of kindred souls, all of whom had to prove themselves to get there and there is a unity among competitors that I have not experienced in other races. Despite everything, all the races are very tough indeed and the glossy finish and smiley faces in Chamonix count for nothing when you're halfway into the second night, dead on your feet and body racked with pain.

That's not to say that I agree with everything about the UTMB. I think the organisers have gone too far in their efforts to generate income and drag runners to the Alps, a good example would be that they made the entry criteria for the OCC (Orsieres - Champex - Chamonix) just too easy, the result being that in 2016 a lot of people who fulfilled the single point requirement went to the considerable expense of entering and getting over there, only to be timed out of the race - and the OCC is by some margin the easiest race on the UTMB calendar!! What I'm trying to say here is that the organisers have a duty of care, I hope that in 2017 they've been a bit more diligent.

As I write, the TDS is ongoing and I am jealously tracking a select bunch of runners as they progress through the Alps. The TDS is a seriously tough race and when I did it the weather was stupefyingly hot, the climb out of Bourg St Maurice remains one of the hardest things I've ever done, it goes from a few hundred feet above sea level to 6,000ft in one hit and with full-on noontime sunshine and temperatures of 40c, I died a thousand deaths in my slog to the top. So which out of the three was my best race? Well, at the time I was pleased as hell with my UTMB finish, it's an achievement just to get round that bugger, but I think my best race was the CCC in 2015. I finished in about 19hrs 20mins on that occasion and I think that placed me well up there in the V2H category, 13th I think - not bad in an international field. I've since learned that a sub-20hr CCC is one of the UTMB "good" benchmarks, so I have to be proud of that. Even though I had the points, I'm glad I didn't apply for a UTMB place this year .... I'd only have been doing it to improve on my 2014 time (I know I could have done better) and that's not really a good reason to risk a UTMB DNF, bear in mind that the DNF percentage is consistently 30% - 38% every year and that holds for the CCC and TDS also. I've been lucky to get away with it.

There are inevitable comparisons with other races. From a UK perspective, I've heard from several quarters that it's debatable whether not or the Lakeland 100 is tougher. It's hard for me to answer that one, as although I've done the 50 on three separate occasions I've never done the L100 and am unlikely to try, however I have to dispute it. I know the L100 route well and can be found up in the fells most weekend, there are no climbs or terrain up there that even compare to the monster climbs you find on the UTMB, the overall distance is about the same but 20,000ft versus 32,000ft? I don't think so. I only know one guy who has done both (twice) and he just laughed at the suggestion.

Looking forward, I want to return to the Alps, it's a lovely place and I miss it greatly. In my dreams I'm wealthy enough to buy a little apartment in Chamonix or Courmayeur (I'm not), so the best I can do is visit whenever I can. How soon can I make it happen? I'd better give the old piggy bank a good shake!

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

A Green and Pleasant Land?

I went for a run the other night, on the road. Nothing unusual or outstanding about that I know, but it's the first run at a sustained pace (albeit HR-constrained) I've done in over two months, so it was a big deal. It was on a timed route that I use and was slow and clunky, but given my ongoing battle with health issues, well, I am going to take it as a positive. No pain from knees or in fact anywhere else, no pain relief involved either.

I have been out on the fells and trails of late though, also been doing quite a bit of swimming. It's much more forgiving off-road and if my HR dictates that I walk, I don't feel quite as much of a twat for doing so. What struck me last night - obviously because I haven't cruised those lanes for a while - was how much crap and litter there is on our roads. Even nice, country lanes like you get up here in North Yorkshire have tons of discarded crap in the ditches and hedgerows, it really is a desperate, crying shame :-( The worst bits where we live are the approach roads to the Army Foundation College, what happens is that the lads who are returning to base just chuck their food wrappers/fag packets/beer cans out of the window before they get to the gate, the result is .... well, exactly what you'd expect. If I was the RSM I'd have the little b*****ds out on working parties cleaning it up, but I suppose this is politically incorrect nowadays. When I joined the navy, the training establishments I went through and the roads leading to them were absolutely immaculate, I hope I don't sound like a stupid old git, because it really wasn't that long ago.

Litter and detritus in public places like this pisses me off, but finding the same on the fells and moors makes me even more angry. I can't understand the mentality of the people who dump stuff in wild, beautiful places. Who the hell do they think cleans it up? Idiots like me, that's who. My pet peeve is dicarded clothing, because while litter will eventually be picked up, nobody wants to pick up a manky old sock or top and stuff it in their rucksack and who can blame them? I know a nice track that leads over the moors high in Nidderdale, if you just peek the other side of the drystone wall that borders the road there is literally a pile of discarded underwear .... WTF? I have a friend at work who assures me that this particular location is where the inhabitants of a well-known Nidderdale village go for a bit of afternoon sex and to conduct illicit liasons, but why the hell do they have to leave their pants behind? I wonder how long a pair of tights or nylon knickers take to bio-degrade? They just don't do they? The things have the nuclear half-life of uranium. Wonderful, just the thing you want to see when setting off on a nice trek in an area of outstanding beauty.

I can feel my blood-pressure going up here .... it's crap, it really is. Are we failing as a nation to impress on young people that just dumping stuff everywhere is the wrong thing to do? I'm not even going to start on fly-tipping, we suffer from that in the Yorkshire Dales big time :-(

I was talking to the warden at the Wasdale NT campsite a few years ago and he told me that every Monday morning they have to go round with a sack to pick up the discarded socks and pants that the Three Peakers that descend on the place just chuck away as part of their Scafell Pike assault. Also, they have do a weekly trek up the tourist path to the summit to remove much of the same. I know this is true, I've been up that path myself and discarded kit, trekking poles, sleeping bags abound. Piles of toilet paper behind every rock.

A Green and Pleasant Land? It won't be for much longer if this carries on.

Saturday, 10 June 2017

How The Joss Broke Me ....

This is a long one.  Go and get your reading glasses ....

There's something intoxicating about being involved with long-distance fell challenges like the Bob Graham Round, Paddy Buckley Round and suchlike. I can't quite put my finger on it, but think it's probably down to the fact that they bring a lot of like-minded people together with a common goal and thus they can be very life-affirming experiences. Discounting the fact that for at least one person it's likely to be a painful undertaking, I enjoy these days out hugely and of course, within the limits of my capabilities I want to stand up and be counted myself. I would categorise myself as a fellrunner rather than a fellracer, but every now and again I think you have to quantify these things and test yourself. Others may disagree, but it's as good a way as any in combating the ravages of the years.


I did the Bob Graham Round five years ago and the Frog Graham Round last year, but held off on an attempt on the Joss Naylor Challenge (JNC) for a good reason: In simple terms, I'm just not fast enough (there, I've said it).  Joss devised the JNC for over-50s only and you get different amounts of time to complete the thing depending on your age group, thus 50 - 54 it's 12 hours, 55 - 59 it's 15 and so on. It's far from an easy proposition, so don't let the "Over 50s" tag give you the wrong idea - the pace for the 50 - 54 age bracket is fearsome and equates to something like an 18-hour BGR! I knew for absolutely certain that it was beyond me, everybody I know who has done a sub-12 JNC is an outstanding runner and has had to push themselves to complete, but sub-15? Hmmm. I thought I could do that and so soon after my 55th birthday last year, the planning began.

Please don't be under any illusions or let my waffle mislead you, the pace for this is still a bit faster than you'd expect (say) on a 23hr Bob Graham schedule and there is a different dynamic in the way you approach it. For instance, Leg 1 on the JNC is very runnable with less climb than you might expect, so you have to get a real shufti on. It also visits the most fell tops compared to the other legs and you can't afford to mess about or it's all over before you've really got started. Anyhow, the route is from Pooley Bridge in the East and heads generally West, finishing not far from Joss's house in Wasdale. It's 48 miles long, visits 30 seperate fell tops and has 17,000ft of vertical climb or thereabouts. The route is divided up in into four logical sections with road crossings at Kirkstone Pass and Dunmail Raise, plus a support point at Styhead Pass where leg 4 starts.

Route of "The Joss"
I know most of the route pretty intimately, but still had to get out there and recce it, particularly as I needed a good idea of individual split timings. I'd heard from several knowledgeable people that the splits for leg 1 were too fast and the later ones too generous, so I really worked on my own schedule and came up with several revisions to the "accepted" sub-15 timings that allowed for a slightly more relaxed leg 1 while still having enough time to deal with the big climbs at the back end of the route. I set my projected finishing time as a conservative 14hrs 44min, but that was absolutely worst-case and privately I thought that given reasonable conditions I should be able to nail it somewhere between 13 - 14 hours.  "Should" is a word that I use too often.

Leading up to my attempt, things did not look promising. Following the High Peak Marathon in March I'd been struggling with some minor niggles, but they sort of disappeared when I got running and was properly warmed-up, so I ignored them. A bit more worrying was a mysterious tightness in my right knee, resulting in reduced flexion and difficulty in knee lift. Again, this warmed up as I got moving, so I thought it would be OK on the day. I also had some ongoing tightness in my pelvis, but it really didn't trouble me once I got moving.  In retrospect, I wasn't in the best shape for a fell challenge like the JNC, but I'd done a lot of training - a LOT of training - leading up to it and the last thing I wanted was for a few aches and pains to stop me, understandable non?  Things continued to go downhill during the week leading up to my attempt and I was stretching and foam-rolling for all I was bloody worth, my body really did feel like it was seizing up .... my resting pulse rate had mysteriously gone up and I just wasn't feeling too bright. I put it down to the stress of what was looming on the horizon, but I think I was fooling myself a bit (I do that). Compounding all this was a less than positive weather forecast and as you might imagine, by then I checking it on an hourly basis. I've let the weather mess things up before, it was terrible on my first BGR attempt and I should have cancelled instead of trying to be a hero, so have taken the sensible option ever since and just postponed things. Decisions like this are not easy, particularly if you have people travelling to come and support you, the pressure is on and so you have to be absolutely certain if you are going to give it a go. As it was, I decided to go ahead with my Joss attempt and damn the consequences.

We traveled up to Kirkstone Pass on the afternoon of Friday 12th May and even at that late stage I was tempted to call it off. I had a terrific support team lined up who I knew would be outstanding on the fells no matter what the weather, they'd understand if I pulled the plug wouldn't they?  Would they?   I decided that on balance, I'd really rather not have this hanging over me and sod it, was going for it. The weather later on Saturday looked a bit clearer so I was hanging on to that, but but I knew it was going to be a rocky ride .... I have to say I seriously questioned my decision (and sanity) at 0300 in the morning when I heard the rain pounding on the roof of our van, but it was too late - I was committed.

Everything was packed and ready and at 0400 my clubmate Simon [C] turned up, he was going to take us to Pooley Bridge for the start where we would meet our friend Jules from Lonsdale Fell Runners, he's done a sub-12 Joss and is exceptionally good at pacing these things. He also navigated leg 2 on my successful BGR and I do like sticking with a winning formula :-) It had stopped raining and Pooley Bridge was quiet and peaceful in the first glimmers of dawn, I allowed myself to take a deep breath and at 0500 exactly I pressed the button on my watch and we were off! Very quickly we had drama: I don't know what precisely happened but Simon caught his foot on the kerb as we left the bridge and took a hell of a tumble, of course he didn't break step and got back on his feet very quickly, but a quick glance told me it wasn't good, he was limping and blood was streaming down his knee.  Not the best omen.

Yours truly, Jules and Helen on Pooley Bridge

We pushed on through the campsite at Park Foot and very soon we were on the fell proper. Dawn was already breaking on the fells and I was anxiously scanning the horizon for some idea of the weather situation and it didn't look good - big dark clouds hung ominously in the sky and a sensible man would have said something like "fuck this, bad idea", rounded everyone up and bought them breakfast somewhere. The problem was that all the people out with me wouldn't bat an eyelid at being on the fells in crap weather, so I'd have been risking eternal damnation in a special part of fellrunner hell reserved for Big Jessies if I'd even tried to pull out.  It was a comfortable climb up to the first summit (Arthur's Pike) and easily within the schedule I'd set out, but Simon was really struggling with his twisted ankle and decided to go back to Pooley Bridge. Jules and Helen took my food and kit from him while I pushed on to Loadpot Hill. I was a bit gutted for him, I knew he had a full kitchen pass for the day and had been looking forward to this ... hell, maybe he was the only one with any brains because the wind and rain had started to make an appearance and very quickly I moved into my waterproof jacket. It was going to stay on all day, unfortunately.

It was clear that the fantastic dawn and clear weather of my dreams just weren't going to happen today and so I focused on the here and now. Visibility was dreadful, but I had every faith in Jules leading me round and we ticked off the summits in what felt like very short order .... Loadpot Hill, Wether Hill, Red Crag, Raven Howe and High Raise came and went easily, all within or dead on schedule, I was taking on fuel and water without problem and generally doing about as well as I could have hoped for, although my running did feel a bit laboured. The fecking weather wasn't getting any better though and a quick glance at Jules and Helen told me that they must have been suffering, water was streaming off their jackets and the wind was coming from completely the wrong direction, buffeting them and making running just that bit harder. We were mercifully shielded for a few minutes as we dropped below the ridgeline for the run out to Kidsty Pike, but we soon back into it for the short hop to Rampsgill Head and then back South to High Street. We'd recce'd this leg to death in all kinds of foul weather, including a recent "live" attempt in deep snow by our friend Paul and it's amazing how much comfort familiarity brings with it. All the same, I was already sick of getting clobbered by the wind and rain and knew that we'd start losing a bit of altitude from here, so that might bring a bit of relief. Sure enough, as we ran down to Thornthwaite Beacon there was a bit of respite, but you had to have your wits about you as the mist (clag) was pretty heavy and in places I was struggling to see my feet. Massive shame, I've been here before on some truly gorgeous mornings and the panorama is one to die for.

End of JNC Leg 1
From Thornthwaite Beacon Jules led us to the NW so as to stay on the right-hand side of the wall line, it seems a bit counter-intuitive but it's the smart way to go and avoids the horrible, rocky descent to Threshthwaite Mouth.  Helen and I have come down here in a total whiteout before now with a thick, icy crust on top of the snow, it was as dangerous as hell and we (foolishly) didn't have microspikes with us; that's something I won't do again! :-( No snow or ice today though and we were down in a jiffy, only to start the scramble up the crag and on to Stoney Cove Pike. Still no time lost and three or four minutes up on schedule.

I'm not sure what happened next, because on the easy descent down to Pike How (why did Joss include this?) we lost about 1.5 minutes per my schedule. Certainly it wasn't a nav error, Jules got it 100% spot on so I can only assume I made a mistake in my calculations, then again it could simply have been that I was so relieved to have reached Stoney Pike Cove that I just took it a bit too easy, which is more like it.  From there we easily made St Raven's Edge and found a good line down to Kirkstone, this is an easy corner to cut and saves several minutes on the established path.


Rain and Mist at Kirkstone

It was rain and mist at Kirkstone. Simon [F], Elly and Clare were all ready to go though, fully togged up against the poor weather. Dave had a cuppa on for me and a dry helly baselayer, so I gulped it down, changed and we were out after a pretty nippy turnaround, leaving at 0827 precisely - I was five minutes up, about as good as I could have hoped for really. Leg 2 is the shortest on the JNC, but it makes up for it in severity as it feels like you're going uphill all the time. We plodded on up Red Screes and it was about now that I started to regret not putting my waterproof bottoms on while at Kirkstone, the wind and rain appeared to be getting worse. I foolishly waited until the summit to do this and it was a right drama ... I suppose there's something funny and faintly ironic about a couple of young lasses trying to put a pair of trousers onto a middle-aged bloke on a wind-ravaged Lake District fell, but I can't think of anything clever or pithy right now. It was a masterstroke having Elly on this leg, because she knows the fast lines from her experience with the Hodgson Bros relays that are held in this neck of the words, so once at Scandale Pass she used that knowledge to trim the corner under Little Hart Crag, saving me a vital couple of minutes.

We were getting absolutely battered by the weather. I followed Simon and Clare as we made our way up to Hart Crag, the rain was streaming off their jackets and when I saw Clare wring her gloves out I began to think that I had perhaps made an unwise choice in trying to do this. It feels like a long slog up to Hart Crag (it's one of the longest splits on the JNC) and I was relieved to get there ahead of schedule, but it was costing me .... I was really focusing on making meaningful progress, living only for that summit and then moving on to the next, but the conditions were taking more energy out of me than I had to spare, moreover I really did feel a bit under the weather, the only joy I was taking out of this was the solidarity shown by my companions. Fairfield came sooner than expected, we were surprised to see other shadowy figures moving around in the mist. It's always reassuring to know that you're not the only lunatic in the asylum isn't it? I think we switched to BGR autopilot here, getting off the summit plateau quickly and dropping down to the col and swiftly up Seat Sandal. The weather didn't seem as bad up here and it cheered me up to be met by our mate Geoff, he did his JNC a couple of years ago and came up with the marvellous "Shepherd's Hand" short film, it was nice of him to come out to see me and I chatted with him as we followed the familiar line down to Dunmail Raise.

I could see the full "BG Circus" in action at Dunmail (support cars lining the roadside) and hoped that Helen hadn't tried too hard from a support point of view as I wanted a fast in and out. That's exactly what I got, I gulped down a recovery drink, changed tops again was out in five minutes with my new supporters Dave, Carol and Phil. It can't have been pleasant for my leg 2 supporters and it didn't look like leg 3 was going to be a basket of roses either, I felt a bit guilty that that I was putting people through this. The cloud was low over Steel Fell, hanging like the wrath of Mordor above our heads. I was trying to put a positive slant on it and cheer myself up a bit, I was with my friends and about to spend a few hours with them in the place I love most, that's got to be worth something hasn't it? We reached Steel Fell summit under schedule (it's never as bad as it looks) and Dave was soon showing his expertise over the ground, taking all the fast lines and generally optimising the route.

Climbing Steel Fell, the Wrath of Mordor above us ....

I'd been dreading the bit out to High Raise as I know the climb up the side of Birks Gill can be a bit of a tussocky nightmare .... sure enough, it was terrible. The wind and rain was straight in our faces, Dave forged on ahead but Carol and Phil were doing their best to shield me from the worst of the weather and I felt unworthy. Neither of them are the most efficient wind blocks if I'm honest - I could have done with a couple of All-Blacks prop forwards - but it made a difference and I was massively grateful. Eventually, High Raise appeared out of the mist and we plugged on for the long drag out to Rossett Pike, in my head I was telling myself that the worst bit was nearly done.

There was a definite deja vu about this, from Rossett Pike you pick up the BGR route and seeing as by now I was a bit knackered, it was forcible reminder of just how difficult the BGR really is. Time tends to obscure memories of pain and distress, but this brought it all flooding back in glorious technicolour. The BGR is blinking HARD, I sometimes think that you only get to hear about the fast rounds by talented runners, the blood 'n guts rounds where a contender has to strain every fibre of their being in order to succeed, well, they fly under the radar a bit. Carol led the way up Bowfell Rakes and on to the summit, the rock was slippy underfoot and it felt dangerous trying to move fast, so I was pleased that we didn't lose any time to Esk Pike, this is a very rocky section and in bad conditions it can cost you.

Climbing Bowfell Rakes
I followed Carol down the gully off Esk Pike and one of those magical moments followed when - just for a moment - the cloud parted and Great End was revealed in all its glory, it looked magnificent and raised my spirits. As we made our way down to the Scafell Pike "highway", I was aware that the weather was definitely moderating a bit, the clouds were starting to thin out and the rain had stopped, things were looking up. Dave led us unerringly to the summit cairn of Great End and it was a relief to get there - the last summit on Leg 3.


Great End summit with Nick Andralojc
There actually is a route choice here, a lot of contenders choose to take what looks like the most direct line via The Band, this is a rocky gully that I imagine a lot of people will have seen when passing below and thought "that looks fecking scary". I think you have to be an exceptional descender to really take advantage of it and it seems Joss is also of this mind. Seeing as the rock was very greasy, there was no way I was doing it and on Dave's advice I returned to the col, rejoined the highway and then took an easy jog down to Styhead with Phil, nice and steady, no pressure on me whatsoever. It was the long way round, but I still got there within schedule.

Bad Weather line off Great End!
I was greeted at Styhead by a wave of cheerfulness and optimism, despite everyone being a bit cold and windswept. Top mountain guy Phil Sturgeon, his daughter Daisy and new puppy Scout had made the journey up to Styhead, while Simon had trekked up from Seathwaite with Helen in order to meet Carol - a logistical triumph! :-) Dave was continuing on this final leg in his capacity of Top Navigator, while mates Paul, Nick and David [F] joined me. As always, I felt humbled that they had made such a massive effort to help me realise my selfish ambitions.

Away we went up Great Gable via the Tourist Path, this is a bit of a slog and longer than the climb on a clockwise BG via Beck Head. I just got on with it, tried to eat (this was getting difficult) and reached the summit more or less in the time expected. From here though, things got a bit more interesting .... you could go down to Beck Head via the route I just mentioned, but it would be slow. The way to do this is head in a slightly more Westerly direction, scramble through a few craggy outcrops and then down the scree at the side of the mountain. I've often looked up at that and wondered , now I know! Dave found the line exactly and we were down the scree and at Beck Head very quickly, but I genuinely wouldn't recommend this route to anyone who just fancies a nice day out walking around Great Gable, best leave this one to the fellrunners. We made quite a bit of time up here on the climb up to Kirk Fell, but it felt slow coming back down Red Gully to Black Sail Pass, wierd how perspective changes. The rain had completely dried up by now, but the fecking wind was still gusting and in the wrong direction .... at least we could see where we were going.

On CW BGRs I know that the ground between Pillar and Black Sail can be a bit of a Make or Break thing for contenders, but going ACW (i.e. upwards) I found it easier than expected, certainly you don't have to mess around quite as much finding the fast lines. What IS more difficult is getting a good line off Pillar down to Wind Gap, thankfully Dave found a much better line than I had in training and before long we were down and heading up to Scoat Fell and the Ennerdale Wall. This came quickly (the true summit cairn is actually on the wall) and Dave took the opportunity for a little rest while the rest of us bobbed out to Steeple. I really was dead tired by now and didn't feel quite right, but still trying to eat and drink, Paul doing his best to jam it into me. It's just a six-minute split here and I do love this little mountain, I fancifully think I've got some special lines that save a few seconds here and there, but do mean you have to be a bit more exposed than you might otherwise be. I'd nailed it now, surely? Just three more summits to go and Paul was singing his awful version of "Three Green Bottles", bless him.

Steeple.  Spot the Fellrunner!

Dave was sheltering in the lee of the Ennerdale Wall and levered himself back on this feet for the run down (and back up) to Haycock, discovering that he'd been sitting on the bag of crisps that he'd been looking forward to over the next three tops.  Funny how little disasters like this can blunt morale isn't it (sorry Dave).  We were dead on schedule again but something like 25 minutes up overall and under the circumstances, I thought this was pretty much as good as I could have hoped for :-) In training we found a lovely grassy line off Haycock, but Dave had a shorter and more effective route in mind that I'm told was one of Joss's tips. I have to concede that it was a brilliant bit of navigation, but it WAS rockier ..... hell, I shouldn't complain: Seatallan looks a long way away from here and every foot closer was precious. This is a bugger of a mountain to climb so late in the day, apparently it was one of Joss's favourites for hill reps!  It felt like the summit was never going to come and I was fading fast, but we made it on schedule OK, in fact I arrived to find Dave cheerfully sitting on the trig post as if getting there hadn'd been difficult at all. I think I hated him at this moment.

Dave had the line nailed off Seatallan down to the col between it and Middle Fell, I opted for the grassy line to the side of one of the scree chutes as my legs were totalled and I was getting wierd shooting pains through my pelvis. Once at the col, it was just a short climb to the summit and that was it, job done - an easy run down from there to Greendale Bridge! Except it wasn't that easy, I was seriously flagging and doing everything I could on staying focussed on the job in hand. The guys were full of encouragement, pushing me along, Paul doing his best to give me little bits of food but I just wasn't having any of it, my stomach felt terrible and revolted against the thought of putting anything into it. As we approached the summit I heard a familiar voice and there was Helen, she had trekked up to the summit with trusty fell hound Fewston Border, the little feller was overjoyed to see "Dad" (Paul) and I have to say the same about my finding Helen, not that I got much sympathy from her.

Fewston Border surveys his fiefdom from Middle Fell

I reached the summit with an overwhelming sense of relief. My emotions are always a bit out of kilter in situations like this, so I kept my mouth shut in case I said something even more stupid than usual.  Believe me when I tell you that I was empty at this point, totally spent.  I know what it feels like to run up to (and past) the Wall, but this was more than that and I felt a bit worried - this was not normal.  I was struggling just to point myself in the right direction as we began our descent off Middle Fell.

Summit of Middle Fell.  Job done!!

In training I did this in about 15 minutes without any real effort and hoped to duplicate it when it mattered. Not a chance, not a fecking chance, I was just doing my best to stay upright and keep the end goal in sight but Jesus it was hard, every fibre of my being was crying out to stop. I remember climbing La Tete aux Vents on the UTMB a few years ago, I'd been running for about 38 hours and was in desperate pain, but didn't feel as empty and weak as this. The bridge was clearly in view and I knew it was nearly over, the ground levelled out and I was nearly in tears as I half ran/walked to the road and touched the bridge, completing the Joss Naylor Challenge in 14 hours and 22 minutes.

Nick and Paul debate whether I really gave it my best shot

Joss came over to greet us and after a few shaky leg moments I got the handshake that meant so much to me, what a man he is. It was the first time I'd met him, though of course I've seen him out and about on the fells and in Wasdale for years .... In real life he comes across as a witty, intelligent man with a genuine love for the sport he excelled at and the fells that surround him ... I was overwhelmed that he'd come out to greet and congratulate me and, if anything, am even more impressed by the Legend. They say that you should never meet your heroes don't they? Wrong in this case.
A Shepherd's Hand

He signed my copy of his biography and we broke out some celebratory beer, then spent about an hour chatting on the bridge, how bloody wonderful can things get? I felt elated, but also in dire need of some fuel and Paul was quick to get some Mountain Fuel into me along with an energy bar. I could have done with it a couple of hours back on the fell, but there was just no way. My body was beginning to seize up though, so once the beer had disappeared it was time to say goodbye and be on our way. What a day, it had been a massive gamble but one that had paid off and I was hugely relieved.
Shooting the Breeze with Joss
I'd like to say that's the end of the story and in a way it is. I raised over £1,000 for the Yorkshire Air Ambulance along the way, a charity that has historically been supported by my club, Harrogate Harriers.  They were also responsible for rescuing a friend of mine (Tom Phillips) following a potentially life-threatening accident on Buttertubs last year, they are the real heroes in this story. I would like to thank all those who sponsored me, your generosity has been amazing.

There is a bit more to tell though:

About four or five days after I completed the JNC my body really did start to seize up, to the point where my right knee wouldn't straighten and my pelvis was locked solid and causing great pain. I also had terrible pain in both shoulders and sleeping was barely possible, just turning over in bed was a massive issue. My doctor was very quick in getting me in for an appointment, the immediate diagnosis was that I might be suffering from Lyme disease with consequential reactive arthritis, but in any event was given a heavy dose of antibiotics and packed off for blood tests.

The week that followed was truly dreadful, I was shuffling around like an old man and practically living off a cocktail of ibuprofen and paracetamol. The surgery rang me on the Friday morning - exactly a week after the blood tests - and got me in that morning. Apparently my blood test for Lymes was indeterminate (whatever the hell that means), but I had a very high level of C reactive protein (CRP) in my blood, this is typical whenever the body has a heightened level of inflammation. I don't think my doctor had any real idea what the problem was at that point, but immediately prescribed a strong corticosteroid steroid along with codeine for the pain. I staggered home that night and crashed out on the settee, barely able to walk.

I had a follow-up appointment on the Tuesday with my doctor and was lucky enough to see a rheumatologist at Harrogate Hospital the following week.  It's a long story, but the upshot was that I was/am suffering from an autoimmune condition with ensuing inflammatory arthritis. 
It's not good news and means that I could be trying to recover from it for an extended period of time, however I am going to do my best to manage it. It could have been triggered by a bacterial infection like Lymes - and that may be the case - but it could also have been something that's been with me for a while and the Joss was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

In retrospect, I am overwhelmingly glad that I carried on and did the Joss when I did, if I'd left it another week it may never have happened, certainly I haven't been able to run much since then. In doing the Joss I became something like the 205th person to successfully do The Crossing (as it's known), but I might be the first person to do it while in the early stages of a relatively serious illness .... perhaps that's a notoriety I don't want, but whatever - it's done now.


  I had a fantastic time and just for the record, thank you to all those who came out on a filthy day to support me, I am truly grateful.

Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Not Always Good ....

Helen and I packed up our van and headed to the Lakes last Thursday, the intention being to get some serious fell miles in our legs, but also to recce some of the ground for my forthcoming JNC (Joss Naylor Challenge). We overnighted at Kirkstone Pass, then next morning set out with mate Emma, the intention to do JNC leg 2 as far as Fairfield under exam conditions. The weather was pretty dreadful, but I had no problem in hitting my projected split times and think that I should be able to reproduce that on the day. From Fairfield we went over Cofa Pike to St Sunday's Crag, bagged nearby Gavel Pike (a Birkett), then pushed on to Birks. Rather than dropping down to Patterdale, we cut across to Trough Head and then on to Arnison Crag for a new Wainwright, the sun was out by now so we sat blinking in the unaccustomed warmth and had butties on the summit.  From there, it was down to Deepdale and the long slog up Hartsop Above How, then cut the corner off before Hart Crag and back to Dove Crag. We saw Emma off at the top of Red Screes and decided to go out to Middle Dodd for another Wainwright, but then very foolishly dropped down to Kirkstone from there. Trust me on this, don't try it, should you be daft enough to be in the vicinity - it's as steep as hell and you stand a good chance of going down the *very* fast way.

We stayed another night at Kirkstone, taking the opportunity to visit the pub and indulge in some people-watching. It was like a scene out of the fecking Adams Family, some seriously weird types congregate in there! The beer was none the worse for it mind you ...

Next morning started off a bit cloudy, but soon brightened up and so we drove down to a very busy Patterdale and Glenridding, somewhat amazingly we got a prime parking spot right in front of the George Starkey Hut. From there we did a cracking tour of the fells thereabouts, heading up to Boredale Hause on the Tour de Helvellyn route, then Place Fell (a Wainwright) followed by The Knight, High Dodd and Sleet Fell (all Birketts). It's good running thereabouts and we loved it, so pushed on to Hallin Fell then back to St Peter's Church in Martindale before climbing up Steel Knotts and the weirdly titled Pikeawassa. We finished off the tour by dropping down and up the other side of the valley to Beda Fell, then back to Boredale Hause and down to our van. An excellent day out.

The plan for the next day was to do JNC L4, so we overnighted in Borrowdale, the intention being to trek up to Styhead from Seathwaite. The weather was abysmal next morning, so that plan got quickly shelved but we decided to go over to Wasdale just for the hell of it. It rained all the way and we were soaked and a bit dispirited, so went into the Wasdale Head Inn for a decent coffee and dry-out. The rain got worse if anything, so eventually we had to get on with it and head back up Styhead Pass .... it seemed to alleviate a little, so to make the best out of a bad job we decided to go up to the summit of Great Gable in order to test my timing for that particular part of L4. As we approached the summit, we were met by some guys who thought we were Mountain Rescue and it turned out we had walked into a full-blown fell emergency. A fell walker had lost consciousness on the summit plateau and stopped breathing, he was located about 75 metres to the East of the summit on very rocky ground, it was a proper nightmare scenario. People were huddled into emergency bivvies trying to stay warm in the cloud and rain, while this poor guy was stripped to the waist and his fellow fellwalkers administered CPR. It was awful to see, they'd been doing CPR for over 45 minutes in the classic 30/2 model and the air exited his lungs in a wet, rasping gasp that didn't sound at all good. What a place to have an emergency, Great Gable is one of the most inaccessible mountain tops in England and it was terrible conditions to boot.  I feared the worst already, so seeing as there wasn't much we could do other than offering kit and helping with CPR, we elected to go and head down the mountain and guide MRT to them, my thinking being that I can probably get down a lot faster than anyone there present. We set off down the tourist path, but then heard a rescue helo come in and land at Styhead (I assumed), so we cut across the mountain until I found the Borrowdale Race descent, on to Windy Gap and then made a very fast descent of Aaron Slack until I got to the helo. I stood at a safe distance and gave the "need assistance" signal and a crewman beckoned me in, then I shoved a pair of headphones on and gave them the full story and position of the casualty. Turns out the helo was in touch with the Wasdale MRT team leader, but they hadn't got comms with the group on the summit. The paramedic I spoke to was very concerned when he heard how long CPR had been going on for and I think like me, he feared the worst.

I can't say what happened for sure after than. The helo couldn't go to the summit in those conditions, it would have been suicide and shortly after I left them they lifted off and headed back down the valley. I suspect they might had picked up some MRT guys and took them as far up as it was possible to go, maybe to Beck Head? I dunno. Anyhow, we made our way back down to Seathwaite in a chastened kind of way, it was a pretty terrible thing to be involved in. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I go out into the hills nearly every weekend and this sort of thing was bound to happen at some point ... the funny thing is that we recently did an FRA Outdoor First Aid and Emergency course and it was just this sort of thing that we dreaded, a cold and wet mountain is about the worst possible place to have a medical emergency and the only thing you can do is try and keep the casualty alive until someone arrives who really knows what they're doing.

We heard next day that the poor guy had died, I think we knew it was the most likely outcome but you like to maintain hope don't you? I can't deny this hasn't impacted me, he was younger than me and well, just too young to die. Something like this really puts you in touch with your own mortality and I am reflecting on the importance of living your life to the full.

The beautiful mountains that so captivate me can be cruel and savage mistresses sometimes.

Wednesday, 4 January 2017

A Year in Review

Did everyone have a good celebration and see the year out in style? We always struggle with New Year, the last thing either of us want to do is get arbitrarily hammered or spend all night going from pub to pub, so we try and do different stuff. In recent years that's meant heading over to the East Coast for a jog around the Hardmoors 30, however this year we were lucky enough to get a place at this year's Old Lang Syne fell race and so on New Year's Eve we headed over to Haworth for a belt around the 6.75 mile course, about 1,000ft of climb included. I had a terrible race at the Chevin Chase on Boxing Day so needed something to lift my spirits, fortunately I was much more on the button and managed to trim over six minutes off my previous time here in 2012, I'm taking that as a win.   Hey, four years older and six minutes faster? There has to be something good there.

I thought that it would be nice to see the New Year in from the hills that we love, so that evening we got back into outdoor kit and did a midnight jaunt up to Beamsley Beacon, it's the biggest hill of any consequence in our immediate vicinity and is quick and easy to get to. The views over Ilkley, Otley and Leeds were spectacular, as were the fireworks on the stroke of midnight. We took a bottle of wine up with us and toasted each other in the cold and wind (and rain), all in all, I think this might have been one of our more memorable evenings.

So ..... 2016, how did it go? From a running perspective, I guess things didn't go too badly. I struggled with a recurring hamstring injury for most of the year, however I've got to grips with it now and it's manageable, am glad to see the back of it. The target race early on in the year was the notorious High Peak Marathon, we did oodles of training and recce work for this but in the end it was cancelled due to bad weather in the Peak District. It was both a relief and disappointing, however we've now got to go though all that again as we have a deferred entry! Watch this space ....

The Frog Graham Round was my primary focus for the remainder of the year and I put a tremendous amount of time and work into it. I successfully got round in late July, but by God it wasn't easy and I won't forget it. I was the 6th person to successfully get round and for a while was the record holder (always a nice feeling), however an Ulverston Tri member came along a few weeks later and pinched it by just four minutes!! Those minutes I spent trying to stop my body shaking having swam across Crummock Water sans wetsuit really cost me, as did my slow descent off High Stile and an assortment of other little errors .... no matter, I did it and what's more I had a great day doing so. Something to remember.

In terms of other major races, well, Helen and I did the Old County Tops prior to my FGR and were fortunate enough to come away with another category prize, we also did the Marmot 24 mountain marathon along with mates Dave and Carol, coming away with the team honours. However the big race of the year was the UTMB TDS (74 miles, 24,000ft) in August. This was my third and probably final trip to the UTMB and I was looking to complete the Grand Slam of UTMB, CCC and TDS on consecutive years, quite a rare occurence I think, I guess I was just lucky it fell my way. As it was, the weather was blisteringly hot and it was a tremendous battle of will, I died a thousand deaths on the 6,000ft climb out Bourg St Maurice, the temperature reaching around 38c at the bottom of the valley. I don't think I've every been so glad to reach a finish line, it was very tough indeed. Helen had a terrific race, finishing appreciably faster than me and 1st British lady, 3rd Brit overall.

There have been a few other races and the usual BGR supports, however our probably our most memorable experience came after the National Fell Relays in Luss, we stayed up in Scotland for the following week and lurked in the general area of the Cairngorms and Glen Nevis. An attempt to nail the Cairngorm 4000s coincided with the first snow of the year and so that sort of stopped us in our track,s but we still had a couple of rather exciting days out, the first on the Cairn Gorm and Ben Macdui side of the Lairig Ghru, the following day we went back to nail the Braeriach and Cairn Toul etc, massively misjudging the severity of the a) the snow b) the terrain and c) the distance. We go back to our van at 9.00pm that night, half-frozen to death and with over 26 mountain miles in our legs. It's a good thing we had headtorches or I guess we might have been in trouble. We did stop in at the Corrour bothy under the Devil's Point, however it was occupied by a couple of other "gentlemen" and they made it as clear as they could that there wasn't room at the inn. We didn't intend to stay anyhow [makes rude gesture].

So that's sort of been my sporting year, I've clocked up the best part of 1900miles running (most of which has been on the fell), 390,000ft of climb and perhaps 140 miles swimming. Cycling has been a bit of a disaster, need to fix this in 2017.

I was going to go on and write about the other important things in 2016, you know, real stuff like how life and work has been, but I think that deserves a separate blog. I'll get to it.

Bring on 2017!

Monday, 26 December 2016

Death and Joy

So, did everyone have a great Christmas? I truly hope so. I always have an uneasy sense of guilt over the festive period, the knowledge that there are those out there who don't have more food than they can eat, don't have a comfy, warm and secure home and most definitely don't have the luxury of being given expensive presents by people that care for them makes me very introspective and I'd be fibbing if I said it doesn't trouble me. It's the old social conscience thing again, I know that to many my politics will seem slightly to the right of Mussolini on a bad day (not true), but actually I do feel the occasional prickle of guilt.

All this against a backdrop of George the Greek shuffling off this mortal coil and well, it's been a curious 24 hours hasn't it? Say what you will about GM, the man had God-given talent and his death is a loss to the world, I'm sure we hadn't seen all he had to give. It's slightly ironic that his passing coincides with the terrible news of the plane crash in the Black Sea, far more column inches are being devoted to his death than the other 62 unfortunates of the Red Army Choir, it's pretty saddening.  I have a little knowledge of the Red Army Choir and although I don't like the majority of the propaganda-fuelled shite they used to push out, I do enjoy some of their more dramatic and haunting renditions. Nobody does Big Sad like the Russians (and they have good reason) and if your mood is robust enough to stand it, listening to their music is a rewarding experience. Here's a link that gives an example:
 

The one everyone knows is "Kalinka Moya", go to about 51:40 and you'll find it. The blokey in the ice-cream suit is Vadim Anan'ev, a well-known tenor. He was one lucky lad and didn't get on the flight. Strange to think that a lot of his mates are dead now.

Anyhow, back onto Christmas. Leading up to it things went a bit wrong, we had the Tour de Helvellyn Ultra last weekend and while I was busy congratulating myself on a half-decent performance I managed to come down with a stinking cold - gracefully passed on to me by an unapologetic Helen - and that made the week a bit miserable. Things perked up for Christmas Eve, my eyes and nose finally stopped watering and although I still felt a bit crap, it meant I could come out to play. We went up to Horton-in-Ribblesdale to join our friends Stolly and Hester and a whole bunch of others, Stolly is coming up for a "significant" birthday and as a result has decided to do 60 consecutive runs up Pen-y-Ghent. Just to be clear here, by that I mean on consecutive days, but it's still one hell of a challenge and he's been at it in all sorts of diabolical weather, Christmas Eve was his 56th and we joined him. I felt pretty ropey as we started running, but that soon cleared and before long I was really enjoying myself and loving the time out on the fell. Fellrunners are, by and large, my favourite people and today only served to endorse that opinion. We got to the top of PYG in a howling wind and pausing just long enough for a few pics, turned round and enjoyed a fantastic descent off the fell, one that included a good few powerslides on my arse, shouldn't have worn my knackered old X-Talons I guess! Actually, judging by the oversqueaks and shouts coming from behind me I don't think I was alone, I looked back to see both Helen and Hester sliding down the fell in a manner that whilst swift, is not normally recommended.  Back to their house afterwards for cuppas and soup and I was in my happy place, lovely people.

Christmas Day was a lazy sort of day, we had the in-laws around for dinner so Helen was determined to pull out the stops and make it a good one, it was too. A late prezzie opening was followed by what I can only describe as a marathon eatfest, it was lovely but very indulgent. I ran out of steam around 7.00pm and slumped in a chair, I don't know how I could have eaten more. It's a bit odd really, as runners we watch our weight carefully and alarm bells start to ring if I go over the 150lb watershed. More air-raid warning sirens than alarm bells this morning if I'm honest, how can you put on that much weight in one day??? I'll run it off ..... eventually.

It was the annual pilgrimage to the Chevin Chase this morning and I felt pretty crap. It was my first day without a Lem-Sip crutch and I really didn't fancy a hard charge around the Chevin. My feelings to this race are a bit ambivalent, as off-road races go the course is very easy, it's mostly even, predictable terrain and the inclines are gentle .... so why did it feel so bloody hard? Alright, I had the excuse of a 38-mile ultra last weekend to lean on, however other people manage to recover from such things (including Helen), why can't I? Perhaps I really am just getting older and slower.  I can't use the excuse of a cold either, one of my clubmates did a fantastic time, belting round a full eight minutes + faster than me and he's been laid up with a bad chest for the last three weeks. As it was, I finished under the hour, but only just. Compare this to my 2014 time and I was the best part of six minutes slower. I really am going to have to sort myself out, one of the problems with all these long days and hill training is that although you develop endurance AND the ability to endure (if that makes sense), it sure as hell doesn't do much for your leg speed and I think that showed today. If I'm serious about a JNC* attempt next year, I'm going to have to sort this out and get some proper running in again. I'm putting today down as a FAIL.

Incidentally, Jonny Brownlee won it, but only just - Tom Adams from Ilkley gave him a hell of a run for his money and finished just a few seconds behind him, must be hard to go around with a target on your back. As a club, Harrogate Harriers did pretty well, Chris Miller came 6th overall (very good at this level) and we had some excellent vet finishes. I've missed feeling part of the bigger "club" picture of late, I suppose this is because of the lonesome nature of the running Helen and I do, nobody else is daft enough to come with us on our big days out and I can't say I blame them. This was partially rekindled at the Lee Mill relays a few weeks back, but it wasn't enough to keep the fire burning, I will have to try harder next year.

Our next race is the infamous Auld Lang Syne fell race on New Years Eve, watch this space.

* Joss Naylor Challenge

Friday, 23 December 2016

The Ancient Runner

It occurs to me that since we've lived at our current house (something that occurred pretty much simultaneously with my leaving the Royal Navy), I have become a creature of habit. Nothing dramatic, because I have a fairly chaotic nature and have to work hard to keep things on the straight and narrow, I'm talking about getting to work at a particular time, having a cuppa at a particular time of the day, getting up early to go swimming etc.

Well, on those mornings I go swimming (Mon/Weds/Fri) I'm usually out of the house at about 0620 and you tend to see the same people out and about, particularly as I head to my swimming pool via the centre of town .... I'm talking about other runners here of course. Over the years we've had the Retired Army Officer, the Librarian, Mr Bowlegged, Miss HugeArse, Mrs Beercoat and the most notable, the Ancient Runner. The "Ancient Runner" is an elderly gentleman who has been an absolutely consistent feature of my mornings over the past 8 years or so, he really is getting on a bit and I would estimate that he's in his early 90s now. I always see him coming back up the road as I'm driving into town and he inevitably wears the same kit: shapeless black baggy shorts (way too big for him) and a stripey sports shirt of the sort your granddad would wear (like a polo shirt), open at the collar and flapping on his skinny arms. Until recently, his only concession to the cold was an enormous pair of black motorcycle gauntlets, however this year I've noticed he has taken to wearing a tatty old red fleece, the old boy is obviously feeling the cold.

He moves painfully slowly, his running pace is slower than most people's walking pace, his hunched back and scrawny neck accentuate the look of desperation that seems to be fixed to his face. If I'm a bit late and he's reached the junction that leads to his house, he slows (!) and walks home. I've seen him plodding down that road in all sorts of horrible weather, he's out there no matter what and it always looks like he's about to keel over from the effort.

My heart goes out to this old gent. Nobody wants to grow old and he's doing his best to maintain his fitness and keep himself healthy, despite his advancing years. He does his training early and in private, nobody but the early birds are privy to his efforts. I wonder if that's how I'll end up? Desperately trying to keep Father Time at bay, dragging my knackered body out of bed to crawl up and down a miniscule circuit at a snail's pace.  I really admire him, I know he hasn't given up.

And there's the lesson really and something I have to keep reminding myself about. It's really important not to give up.

Friday, 7 October 2016

Frog Graham Round

Right, please grab a cuppa and something to eat, you may be here for a while.  I intended to do this some while back and  I do apologise, it’s easy to keep on putting things off and that’s what I’ve done I’m afraid.  It’s bad of me, particularly as what I’m about to waffle on about has pretty much monopolised my time over the past year and I know I’d regret not getting it all down while it’s (reasonably) fresh in my mind, so, here we go – the story of my  Frog Graham Round.

Not heard of it? It’s obviously owes it’s title to the more famous 42-peak circuit of the Lake District (the Bob Graham Round), but is nowhere near as well-known, despite being around since 2005. The guy who came up with it is Peter Hayes, a university lecturer from up Durham way; he authored a book called “Swim Hiking in The English Lake District” and this is where the Frog Graham Round – or FGR – is defined. It’s a circular route of the NW Lakeland fells covering about 40 miles and 15,800ft of vertical ascent, the tricky bit is that there are four lakes to swim across enroute to the finish in Keswick. I’d heard it being talked about a few years back, but really didn’t give it too much attention until some fell-running/triathlete friends stated their intention to give it a go and I investigated further. I was surprised to find that less than 10 people had successfully done it since Peter’s inaugural round in 2005, perhaps indicative of the severity of the task but possibly simply because the fact of its existence isn’t widely known. I was immediately hooked and thought that this was something I could do, my goal there and then was to be one of the first ten people to get round.

Details on the FGR were scarce. Peter’s book is quite hard to get hold of, although you can download it from Amazon for your Kindle. A chap named Richard Walsh maintains a website that details the basics of the round and the list of successful completers, but there’s not much more. I then looked at the people who had got round thus far and the most notable was Tim Mosedale, whose name is well known in the outdoor world.  Tim is a  four-times Everest summiter (that’s fairly hard isn’t it?), he’s also the bloke who in 2015 decided to raise some money for charity by doing the big Lakes triple – in this case that meant swimming the length of Windermere, cycling the Fred Whitton route (112 miles) and following that with a Bob Graham Round. Once I’d found Tim’s blog, I had some hard details of the FGR to go on.

I could spend a long time writing about my preparation for this, way too long. Those who know me and my fastidious nature will have no doubts that I recce’d the route thoroughly (a good part of which I knew pretty intimately in any case) and had a great time doing it, clocking up some serious mileage and making some appalling navigational decisions in the process, well, you have to explore all options don’t you? From the very outset I felt that the key to success was making it so that the four swims – across Bassenthwaite, Crummock Water, Buttermere and Derwentwater – were just incidental obstacles along the way because, truth be told, there’s actually more feet per miles ascent in the FGR than the BGR and considerably more than long, tough fell races like the Old County Tops, so survival on the fell was going to be main thing. If I couldn’t complete each swim and follow it with a hard fell section, then it was clearly going to be a non-starter.  But how to make it so that swims were just “incidental obstacles?”  A bit tricky I thought.
Carol Morgan and Myself on an FGR Recce (High Stile)
I love swimming and picked up the reins several years back when I began to compete in the odd triathlon. However, my technique sucked and although I had a useful turn of speed over shorter distances, I felt it needed to be better for an attempt on the FGR. I had sinky legs, a number of dead spots in my stroke, a rubbish catch and was prone to crossing over from the left. I eventually cured the majority of these problems, but it was a long, long and very tiring journey for a bloke whose life is already jammed full anyway. It mostly consisted of three morning sessions a week, up at 0530 to be in the pool by 0630. I was helped along the way by my swim partner Emma, but as time went on she had to give up on our sessions due to her business expanding and early morning PT clients. It was up to me and I won’t deny I found it hard to keep the momentum going, particularly over the winter. I stuck at it though and my swim stamina slowly improved and I began to enjoy it a lot more. My body shape changed and I developed some proper swim muscle, my weak left shoulder became a thing of the past and I knew I was ready when I was knocking out 3,000 metres before going to work. I should add that as the weather got better I was swimming more and more in open water, my triathlon club has access to the lake in the middle of Ripon racecourse so I was in there whenever possible. Of course, I was also swimming the lakes of the FGR as well, however this didn’t go too well when I tried to swim across Crummock Water the week after the last snow of the year – it was icy, bitterly cold and I got out of there so fast I think I just skimmed across the surface. Not a good start really and it didn’t do my morale any good. It was the Old County Tops fell race the following week and it was a  tough outing in bad conditions, so I thought a little swim the next day would give me a good idea of where I was. I decided to swim from Calf Close Bay on Derwentwater to Rampsholme Island (the last mandatory CP on the FGR) then swim back. I was absolutely knackered, it was a real fight and gave me some idea of just how bloody hard this was going to be. If I’d known just how hard, I might have given up there and then.
Contemplating the FGR post-OCT
Things didn’t go smoothly on the lead-up to my projected date at the end of June. For starters, I took a nasty fall while descending the back of Fleetwith Pike, this did some serious damage to my left knee and shin, moreover I managed to bruise my ribs into the bargain and as anyone who’s suffered this will tell you, it hurts like hell, particularly when you try to run. This little faux paus resulted in a visit to the minor injuries unit in Keswick where the very efficient nurse there patched me up. I think they’re very used to dealing with broken fell runners and I was seen and shoved out with commendable speed.
As if all this wasn’t bad enough, pretty much the following week I was back in the Lakes training and following a leg 2 run, did my first training swim across Bassenthwaite in horrendous conditions. It took a lot out of me (probably more than I had to give at the time) and I can remember just sitting on the ground at Beck Wythop, too tired to get my wetsuit off and feeling that it was all too much. My companions had retired to the warmth of their car and I felt totally alone and exhausted. I didn’t know at the time, but I was coming down with some filthy cold virus and I guess that final effort across Bassenthwaite lowered my resistance to the point where it was All Systems Go for Mr Virus. It was horrible, I felt absolutely crap and it was clear that one way or another, my attempt was looking shaky. As it was, the weather came along and saved me because the week leading up to my projected date was absolutely awful and it was with some relief that I cancelled. The problem now was that I had had a load of friends booked in to run with me on the fell, however it looked very much like hardly any of them would be available in the short term. Whatever happened, I was going to have to do it with a skeleton crew.
The diary was beginning to look very full. I’d promised to help my friend Elise on her BGR attempt on the 29th July, moreover we had the dark shadow of the UTMB looming over us in late August. There really weren’t many options, so I was more or less forced into an attempt on Saturday 23rd July and this is what transpired. I put out the call for volunteers and just came up with enough bods to do it (five people), although it meant that most of them would be running two legs with me on the fell. This was important to me, from the very outset I’d decided that I wanted it to be a social occasion, something that I could share with some friends. Yes, I could have done it solo but I’m a sociable kind of bloke and it wouldn’t have been half as much fun without some company and not at all what I wanted. I would be carrying my own wetsuit on the fell and using an inflatable swim bag (a “ChillSwim“) to tow my kit behind me when in the water.
The timings on the FGR are critical. You don’t have to be a genius to work out that you want to be doing the swims in daylight, moreover I wanted to finish at a decent time in the evening so that we could have a beer and celebrate afterwards. A lot of it was guesswork, but I went out there with a schedule of 14hrs 30min and fingers firmly crossed. Perhaps that’s an understatement, because I was crossing everything that would cross, throwing salt into corners, muttering incantations and praying to my forefathers that this was going to go well.  It was too late to sacrifice my first-born, he’s appreciably bigger than me and would have objected.  In all seriousness though, I knew only too well how easy it would be for disaster to strike, I would be swimming alone and knew that later on in the round it was going to be a real effort.   I never did have any common sense, it’s sobering to think that in my advancing years things haven’t changed much.
We met Emma, Chris and Paul at Keswick’s Moot Hall at 0345 (the FGR shares the start/finish with the BGR, it also has the same first summit) and after some nervous kit faffage we were off at 0400 on the dot. Emma and Chris had headtorches, but I hadn’t packed one, banking on dawn arriving before I really needed one. That’s pretty much as it worked out, by the time we were halfway up Latrigg the first twinklings of light were breaking up the darkness and I felt relaxed and in good company. I’ve done this climb up Skiddaw any number of times and knew exactly what to do, although care was needed: I was carrying a wetsuit and heavy pack, the last thing I needed was to charge up there at BGR pace and overcook it, I needed to arrive at Bassenthwaite relaxed and in good order. Skiddaw was shrouded in cloud and I knew that it was likely to burn off later in the day, however a jacket was needed to keep the chill at bay. Everyone with me knew the ground intimately and we had no problems hitting the summit and then swiftly finding the trod off down to Carlside. Chris had very kindly recce’d this bit for me and after Carlside and the tarn he had worked out some fast lines through the bracken that took us down to White Stones and then the track at the top of Dodd Wood, from here it was a long descent down to the visitors car park, across the road then down to Bassenthwaite Church, this is the second mandatory CP on the round. No messing about here and it was straight into my wetsuit, although I have to say that this is not as easy as you might think when you’re a bit hot and sticky after a long run down one of England’s highest mountains.
Bassenthwaite at Dawn
There was a bit of faffage getting my kit and rucksack into the swimbag (forgot to take out goggles and they were at the bottom), but once sorted I was into the lake and very fortunately, it was calm and still. The others ran back to the Dodd Wood car park where Chris had his car, they would drive round to Beck Wythop on the other side of the lake (seven miles by road) and meet me there. It was an easy swim, I relaxed and deliberately took it easy, breathing every 4th stroke. Every now and then I swapped sides for no other reason than to the left you have a marvellous view of Dodd and several other Lakeland fells, it felt like I was massively fortunate to be able to do this, it was a beautiful morning (around 0630 I guess) and my spirits were high.
The Frog Emerges
I might have been a bit too relaxed going across there, because I was a minute or two slower than projected, but hey, in the grand scheme of things that wasn’t going to make any difference and I was sticking to my plan that the swims had to be “mere incidentals” otherwise the scope for disaster was huge. I crossed the A66 to the layby at Beck Wythop and Chris, Emma and Paul had just beaten me to it, Helen was there along with my clubmate Simon, both of them were going to be running on Leg 2 with me while Emma took over road transport duties. I had a bit of trouble getting my wetsuit off, the problem was that like many others I was struggling with the physiological effects of swimming with minimal leg movement, I don’t know the real reason for this but I do know that as soon as I went from a horizontal to vertical position, cramp in my lower legs (calves, feet, adductors) struck immediately, therefore it was difficult to get the bloody wetsuit off. I don’t think this is the sort of cramp associated with electrolyte depletion, this is something else entirely – I just don’t know how to combat it. Of course you can kick more when swimming and that sort of mitigates it, but the swimbag makes that much more difficult, it trails from your waist you see, so it’s the classic triathlete’s taildrag or nothing.
I eventually got sorted and on my way, the cramp stopped as soon as I began running.  Wierd eh? From Beck Wythop you cut through the woods and then come out on the Thornthwaite Road, then it’s a bit of a slog until you reach the foot of Barf, the first summit of Leg 2. I’ve stopped thinking that Barf is a funny name for a mountain, there’s nowt funny about it at all. It might be small, but by God it makes up for that in severity, it’s a properly steep climb to the top. Good potential for getting it all wrong too, the first time I recce’d this I went up via Slape Crag, this is – unbeknownst to me at the time – a Mountain Rescue black spot and I totally understand why, but that’s another story!  It was getting warm and as we laboured upwards, the cold water of Bassenthwaite became a distant memory. We reached the summit 10 minutes ahead of schedule and I stopped to take in the marvelous panorama; it’s a cracking view from Barf and if you haven’t been up there, please accept my recommendation, winter or summer it just delivers.  It was turning into a lovely day, just a few clouds in the sky and I felt like I had the upper hand, I was loving it.
Myself and Simon on Grisedale Pike
Lord’s Seat and Ullister Hill came and went in a flash, then it was down the wide, alpine-like trails to Whinlatter before a brief detour onto the mountain bike trails and then to the foot of Grisedale Pike. This is a proper climb and one I’d been dreading, but it didn’t seem so bad, I was soaking up the scenery and with Simon and Helen chattering away beside me we reached the summit at 0854 precisely, I was still 10 minutes up on schedule.

On Hopegill Head
From here it’s a rocky detour to Hopegill Head (this is the little “nobble” you can see to the left of Grisedale Pike) and then what must be shortest split on any major round, just three minutes to Sand Hill. This was all familiar territory and I was moving well, we found the rocky trod up the front of Crag Hill (or Eel Crag as it’s known) and scrambled our way up the side, saving loads of time over the more boring run up to the col between it and Grasmoor.  We flew down to Wandope and on to Whiteless Pike, by now I was about 14 minutes up on schedule and believing that I could really do this, however I knew the descent down to Low Bank and Rannerdale was likely to be very overgrown and I wasn’t wrong. No way could I take my intended line, when I’d last recce’d this bit there was barely a scrap of bracken to be seen, now it was completely overgrown and I had to take the long way round. I guess I severely underestimated this bit in my schedule, because I lost 6 minutes here, but it didn’t really trouble me, truth be told I had other things on my mind: The swim across Crummock Water was looming and my issue was my wetsuit, I didn’t want to wear it. I knew it would save loads of time not to have to change in (and out) of the damned thing, but even at that very late point I hadn’t made my mind up. The weather had been quite good that week, but Crummock Water is notoriously cold …. what to do?

Crummock Water and Low Ling Crag
Running down to Rannerdale I was greeted by Emma and made up my mind: I was now 8 minutes up on schedule and wanted to maintain my advantage, it was only a shortish swim across to Low Ling Crag, how hard could it be? Now, I have to tell you that this was a very foolish decision and could have cost me my life. Open water swimming is an inherently risky business if you don’t take proper precautions, one of those is acclimatising your body to cold water and I hadn’t, not even a bit. I jammed my rucksack and the rest of my kit and rucksack into the swim bag (it was a bit of a squeeze), on with goggles and swimcap, then away I went to worried looks from Helen, Simon and Emma. There was a diving club getting ready at the side of the water, they were all in full immersion suits and looked at me like I was mad. In retrospect, they were absolutely right.
Not One of My Better Decisions ....
Once the initial shock was over it didn’t feel too bad, but there was no doubt about it - it was bloody freezing!  I forced my face and chest down into the water to compensate for the lack of wetsuit buoyancy and tried to focus on my breathing.  It was bitterly cold though and straight away I could feel a peculiar numbness creeping across my face.  Focus.  I wanted to kick, but the swimbag behind me made it difficult, the damned thing was getting in the way.  Up the stroke rate, get the blood flowing …. got to get across quickly, I started to realise that this might not have been a smart idea, my body had definitely come to the same conclusion and had started to divert all bloodflow to vital organs and I was beginning to lock up from the waist down, heck, I knew this really wasn’t good and I was in trouble. If that wasn’t enough, I was worried that the swim bag was going to burst open, it really was packed tight with kit and even though it was buoyant, the thing was heavy enough to be an obstruction in the water.  Looking back, I have no idea how I safely reached Low Ling Crag, it would have been easy enough to panic but I had enough about me to focus on survival and just crashing out the strokes, long strokes with a high elbow and strong pull, just aiming for the other side on auto-pilot.
Rannerdale Knotts - the View From Low Ling Crag
I could see Chris and Nick waiting for me, both looked worried.  My plan to swim around the right hand side of the crag was abandoned and I just hit the crag on the nose and clung to it, my legs immediately locking solid and the pain caused me to bite my lip hard, it was awful.  Eventually I scrambled out of the water and Nick draped his jacket around my shoulders, I was shaking violently and not in a good place, I guess it’s fair to say that any advantage I’d gained in not wearing a wetsuit was completely lost, massive mistake.  The weather was still OK, so I warmed up quickly enough and I was keen to get going, so dragged my fell shoes and manky socks out and wrestled them on, to be honest it was a relief to be getting back to running mode and we set off up the side of the next FGR obstacle:  Mellbreak.
If you know the Lakeland Fells, you’ll know Mellbreak.  It’s the steep-sided monster to the North of Crummock Water, quite a plateau on top and it has in fact got two summits, the South being the “proper” one.  I’d recce’d this twice before and knew it was going to be emotional, it’s terribly steep and there are no trods or walkers routes – you go up there the best way you can and hang on for dear life.  I knew from Tim’s account that there was going to be a big problem with bracken, but I didn’t really appreciate just HOW bad it was going to be, I felt like Dr Livingstone hacking through the jungle.  It was difficult enough going up something this steep without a bracken wall to hack through.  It was murder, the swim across Crummock had done me in a bit and every upwards step felt like torture, I was totally knackered.  Eventually we got through all that crap, but things then went a bit amiss when Chris announced he wasn’t feeling too good, was turning back and would see us over at the bottom of High Stile.  He didn’t say it, but it transpired that he’d turned an ankle – that swelled up like a balloon – and I guess he just didn’t want to worry anyone.  My hero.
Nick and I carried on, finding the Mellbreak summit without difficulty and then charging on to the long descent that takes you down to Scale Beck, surprise, bracken has grown to head-height here too. We bashed our way through and it was only by luck that we found the indistinct trod that leads down to the beck, from here it’s a climb – a long climb – up to the summit of Red Pike (the Ennerdale version) before going across the rocky ridge to High Stile.  This is one of the big ones that looks so forbidding when you stare down the valley and from Buttermere, you would be forgiven for thinking it would be impossible to come down the nose via Grey Crags, however this really is the FGR route.  It’s actually faintly cairned, but it’s far from an easy descent and you really need your wits about you or you could end up getting to the bottom a bit faster than you’d want to.  In training I did this a few times as it’s by some margin the worst descent on the round and I estimated that a reasonable split on the day would be 28 minutes, it actually took me 37, sadly.  This is partly because I was getting a bit tired by now, partly because I was being very careful, but also because the lower slopes were – surprise – covered with bracken and it was a proper pain hacking through it to Horse Close.  Bracken is definitely the curse of the FGR, the lines are too seldom trodden for them to become permanent paths, so you have to take the route as it comes.
Horse Close with Buttermere behind
As we approached Horse Close (this is the little wood on the shore of Buttermere), Nick peeled off to run around the lake and there was Chris as promised.  He looked OK, much to my relief.  Buttermere is much shallower than Crummock Water and it’s the shortest swim on the round, so I didn’t have any qualms about swimming it without a wetsuit, despite my earlier experience.  I ripped off my shirt and fellshoes, jammed all the kit back into the swimbag, googles off and I was away.  I did this swim in 6 minutes in training, today it took me a little over 7, however it was with a real sense of relief that I reached the other side and was met by Helen and Em, I was 75% of the way in and still up on schedule – I was in with a real chance of getting round, the only question now was whether leg 4 would break me before the final and longest swim across Derwentwater?
Frog Inbound - the end of the Buttermere swim.
I set off on leg 4 with Em, Simon (who had rejoined us) and Nick who had just managed to beat me with a focused dash around the end of the lake.  Leg 4 starts with an unholy climb up the back of Robinson, it’s a bit testing on fresh legs and an absolute swine when you’re tired and on your chinstrap.  It’s a funny thing, Robinson (as many will know) is the final summit of the Bob Graham Round and in terms of climb from Hindscarth isn’t much at all, as you’re already fairly high up when you approach it.  This thought had lulled me into a totally false sense of security, but when I first recce’d it all that was blown straight out of the water; it’s the “Yewbarrow” of the FGR without question.  Much sweating and bad language later we hit the top and then it was a straight reverse of the BGR line down to Littledale Edge, over to Dale Head and then the race line down to Dale Tarn.  Spirits were high, Emma was running well and skipping along in front of us, we were enjoying ourselves and focusing on the job in hand.
Climbing High Spy
High Spy came quickly and we had no problem picking out the Anniversary Waltz racing lines back to Catbells.  This was one part of the round that I hadn’t recce’d under “exam conditions”, I’d intended to do it but events had sort of conspired against me, the result being was that I’d had a guess at the splits, a bit optimistic as it turned out.  We were all running well, but I still lost a bit of time enroute Catbells, my own fault I guess.  My advantage was all but lost at this point and I was about where I’d predicted, but this was, of course, on a 14:30 schedule so I had no reason to be unduly worried.   Lots of tourists on the summit, but we sneaked round them and bombed down the grassy line that takes you to the col where you drop off to the road and Old Brandelhow, the fell section was all but over.
On Catbells, all OK.  Note Islands Below
While all this was going on I’d been keeping an eye on Derwentwater below me, because the final and potentially biggest obstacle was looming and I had to get my head in the right place.  The wind had got up over the past few hours and I could see that there was quite a chop on the water now, not at all what I wanted to see and I was privately cursing.  Anyhow, we moved quickly downwards and very soon found ourselves at Otterbield Bay, the end was nearly in sight.  There’s a nice grassy bank to lean on there, so it was quickly on with wetsuit and kit packed, I told the others to get round to the Catbells carpark and not wait for me – Nick had his car there and it was their job to get to the other side in time to run in with me, it’s quite a distance by road and you have to go through Keswick you see.
I should point out that the swim across Derwentwater is not as straightforward as you might think.  For starters, it’s the longest (just over a mile) but the real twist is that you to visit three islands enroute, Otterbield, St Herbert’s and Rampsholme in that order, exiting at Calf Close Bay which is more or less parallel with the Great Wood on the Borrowdale Road.  The rules say you have to have your entire body out of the water at each island, this isn’t as easy, because the ground shoals very gradually to St Herbert’s and Rampsholme, meaning you have to snake-belly in (slowly!) and then stand up with great care, the rocks are as slimy as hell and it would be very easy and very bad to fall over here.
The Final Swim
I committed my soul to the waters once again and dived in. Fate wasn’t kind to me from the outset, the bloody Derwentwater passenger steamer chose that precise moment to come across the bay and of course its wash threw me all over the place.   If I’d known what was coming I don’t think I’d have been quite so peed-off, perspective is everything:  I reached the tiny Otterbield Island very quickly and, just as I did in my recce swim the previous week, shimmied up the slimy rock and got my body out of the water.  Straight back in, around the side and I reached out for St Herbert’s, I really wanted to do this final swim justice.
Otterbield Island
I was dead tired, that last slog over the fells of leg 4 had taken the wind out of my sails and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, I’d prepared for that though.  St Herberts was right ahead and as I cleared the bay, my problems really began: My suspicions about the surface state turned out to be entirely justified and beyond the shelter of the bay, the stiff SW wind was really pushing at the swell, creating a hell of a chop that both contrived to crash over my head and blow me off course.  It was coming from my “good” side too, which made things much worse, I can breathe bilaterally of course, but like most swimmers have a side I prefer to breath to, in my case it’s the right.  I was now being forced to breath uniquely to the left and all things told, I was having a bit of a bad time.  Sighting was a major problem, the surface chop meant I only got a second here and there to really assimilate what was in front of me and I have to say that St Herbert’s, with its dense woodland, just blended into the treeline behind it.  It was very hard to stay on course.  This was more a fight than a swim.
Eventually, St Herberts became close enough for me to easily distinguish the shoreline.  I was having to swim well to the right of my intended destination because of the bloody wind, it was incredibly draining and being unable to breath evenly took its toll.  Eventually the ground began to shoal and as I snake-bellied in, I remembered in the nick of time that there were some big submerged rocks thereabouts and it would be easy to head-butt one, that wouldn’t have been good, although I suppose it might have knocked some sense into me.   As planned, I went wide and landed on a little bit of shoreline …. I don’t think I have the words to describe how difficult it is to stand up on those slimy rocks when your body is just running on fumes and legs threating to lock solid at a moments notice. It’s a good thing that I really wanted to do this, otherwise I might have had a bit of a Sense of Humour Failure.
Back in the water, clear the rocks, get deep enough to swim properly, strike out hard for Rampsholme.  Attack the water.  Breathe.  Breathe.  Argh, waves, need air, need energy.  As I’ve said before, I love swimming but I wasn’t loving this.  As expected, at about that point I soon heard the squealing of some horrible gull above me, there is some kind of colony of them on Rampsholme and as you get close to the island they get a bit pissed-off and start dive-bombing you – I had learned this the previous week.  It might not seem like a big deal, but it’s a bit unnerving thinking that you’re going to have some big smelly bird bury its beak in the back of your head.
There comes a point in situations like this when you stop attacking and are forced to start defending, I think I was very close to that here.  I’m only flesh and blood and what I’d been through so far was enough to drain my batteries to more or less zero, I just didn’t have the energy for much more.  I tried to glide out to the front of the stroke and pull through the water, over-rotating to my left to try and get as much air into my lungs as possible.  Eventually, I could see the ground in front of me begin to shoal and soon I was skimming over the rocks of Rampsholme, pulling myself in with my hands.  My landing spot on the South shore was OK, but I still had to stand up on the slimy rocks, I was getting very fed-up with it all now.  No point in hanging around and the final stretch of water to Calf Close Bay was in front of me, I knew my friends would be waiting there for me and I was eager to get this over with.  Back into the water, clear the shallows, swim Martyn, for God’s sake just focus!  The conditions were no better on this side of the island, but I caught a glimpse of Helen waving a towel from the shoreline and knew that I was heading in the right direction, this nightmare swim was nearly over.
Chris Doing a Bit of Frog-Watching
I pushed my chest into the water and tried to concentrate on the job in hand: rotate, high elbows, clean hand entry, push to the front of the stroke, catch …. that was the theory, but the reality was that my arms felt like useless lead weights and weirdly, I couldn’t close my fingers together properly, meaning a much reduced hold on the water.  My swimming efficiency at this point was rubbish and it was costing me, I was angry and tired.  I would have like nothing more than to simply roll over and take a rest, but in those conditions it might not have been the smartest thing to do and I was worried about being hit by cramp again, something that could have been catastrophic.
It took what felt like an eternity to swim those last few hundred yards, I didn’t have enough energy left to combat the water conditions and was forced to do exaggerated rolls so that I could suck enough air into my body, more often than not a wave would crash over me making this a pretty miserable situation.  Eventually I saw the lake bottom and the ground began to shoal, it was nearly over – thank God.  Everyone had gone to Calf Close Bay so that we could run in together and I could see Chris and Nick standing on a rock by the waterside, both looked concerned …. I guess in retrospect they were right to be  I did my final snake-belly in and tried to stand, immediately the most agonising spasms coursed through my legs, not at all what you want when you’re trying to balance on slimy, slippy rocks.  It was as dodgy as hell and really didn’t want a smashed kneecap at this stage in the game.
Glad That's Over!
It took an eternity to get properly out of the water, wriggle out of my wetsuit and jam my running shoes on.  I bundled my wetsuit and kit into my rucksack and we scrambled up the dirt bank to the path that leads round to the Borrowdale Road.  Of course, the bloody cramp disappeared as soon as I got moving, don’t ask me how or why, I’ve given up trying to work it out.  The crap conditions had meant that I took much longer than envisaged getting across Derwentwater and my schedule was blown to pieces, however I was still on for a sub-15hr round and if I got a wiggle on stood a chance of beating the existing record.  There was no messing about and Helen and Emma set a strong pace from the outset, it was just two miles to Keswick but the way I felt at that point it may as well have been twenty.
The girls knew what the score was, both have been involved in plenty of Bob Graham Rounds and the final push for the Moot Hall.  I was dead on my feet, the weight of the rucksack felt like it was going to drag me to my knees and water was slowly draining from the wetsuit and trickling down the back of my legs.  I felt cold and was ready for all this to stop, but you know, it doesn’t take much to turn your emotions around and I was being pushed and encouraged to run, not allowed to slow down and told to move my lazy arse.   I hated it to start with, it’s always hard transitioning from one medium to another and I remember well how terrible the run to Keswick had been on my own Bob Graham, however this was a bit different and as the town’s rooftops came into view I could smell the scent of success and my spirits lifted.  Adrenaline coursed through me and it didn’t feel like such a big deal to run anymore, we ran straight across the roundabout and into the streets, past George Fisher’s and I was dodging around bemused pedestrians, past the Dog & Gun, I was berating and yelling at myself; "run you lazy bastard, run like you never have before, push, PUSH!"  I gave those last few yards everything and practically bounced up the steps of the Moot Hall to hit the door and complete the Frog Graham Round in 14hours, 48 minutes and 37 seconds.
One Very Happy Harrogate Harrier!
It’s difficult to describe the euphoria of situations like this.  I can remember once feeling sad because I thought I’d never again experience the joy of completing something like the BGR or UTMB.  I feel massively privileged to have been able to stand on these famous steps for a second time, it’s something very special and I was overwhelmed;  the Frog Graham Round had consumed me for most of the preceding months and I was literally beaming from ear to ear, I’d never been sure I could get round this monster – how could anyone? – because it drains you in a way that other big physical challenges cannot, but success lifted a huge weight off my shoulders.  Helen and my incredible friends Emma, Chris, Simon and Nick stood under the steps and gave me a cheer, correcting passers-by who thought they were witnessing the end of a successful BGR.  “What’s he done?  A Frog Graham Round?  Really?  What’s that?  Insane”!

Insane.  They were right.


 ** Postcript:

Since I completed the Frog Graham Round there have been over 30 further individuals who have successfully completed it and in retrospect I realise that I could have saved a lot of time on the day with a few minor tweaks to my planning, however the round was still a relatively unknown quantity at the time.  If you are interested in attempting the FGR, I recommend joining the dedicated Facebook group where you will find a lot of useful information, plus of course the Frog Graham website is the best resource available.  Good luck!