The Lure of the UTMB

It's UTMB week and for the first time in four years, I'm not going to be there.  I was discussing this with a friend (Chris, in case you're reading) last week at Stickle Barn in Langdale and although he was pretty ambivalent about it all, I am pretty gutted and feel that I'm missing out on something important, however I suppose that given my ongoing issues, the fact I didn't apply for a place this year is a blessing. I did the full UTMB in 2014, the CCC in 2015 and TDS in 2016, finishing each one and all via the full route. This might not sound much, but it's a record of which I'm actually quite proud, the odds are against this happening are high and it looks like the conditions this year are going to result at least one of the routes being curtailed.

The UTMB comes in for a bit of bad press from certain quarters (mostly from people who haven't done any of the races) but I always leap to its defence. There's no question that it's the biggest ultra marathon in the world and the inevitable hype and glitz that goes with that is anathema to the souls of a good number of long distance runners, however that's really missing the point. The UTMB is a celebration of long distance running in the most fantastic setting imaginable, it's a coming together of kindred souls, all of whom had to prove themselves to get there and there is a unity among competitors that I have not experienced in other races. Despite everything, all the races are very tough indeed and the glossy finish and smiley faces in Chamonix count for nothing when you're halfway into the second night, dead on your feet and body racked with pain.

That's not to say that I agree with everything about the UTMB. I think the organisers have gone too far in their efforts to generate income and drag runners to the Alps, a good example would be that they made the entry criteria for the OCC (Orsieres - Champex - Chamonix) just too easy, the result being that in 2016 a lot of people who fulfilled the single point requirement went to the considerable expense of entering and getting over there, only to be timed out of the race - and the OCC is by some margin the easiest race on the UTMB calendar!! What I'm trying to say here is that the organisers have a duty of care, I hope that in 2017 they've been a bit more diligent.

As I write, the TDS is ongoing and I am jealously tracking a select bunch of runners as they progress through the Alps. The TDS is a seriously tough race and when I did it the weather was stupefyingly hot, the climb out of Bourg St Maurice remains one of the hardest things I've ever done, it goes from a few hundred feet above sea level to 6,000ft in one hit and with full-on noontime sunshine and temperatures of 40c, I died a thousand deaths in my slog to the top. So which out of the three was my best race? Well, at the time I was pleased as hell with my UTMB finish, it's an achievement just to get round that bugger, but I think my best race was the CCC in 2015. I finished in about 19hrs 20mins on that occasion and I think that placed me well up there in the V2H category, 13th I think - not bad in an international field. I've since learned that a sub-20hr CCC is one of the UTMB "good" benchmarks, so I have to be proud of that. Even though I had the points, I'm glad I didn't apply for a UTMB place this year .... I'd only have been doing it to improve on my 2014 time (I know I could have done better) and that's not really a good reason to risk a UTMB DNF, bear in mind that the DNF percentage is consistently 30% - 38% every year and that holds for the CCC and TDS also. I've been lucky to get away with it.

There are inevitable comparisons with other races. From a UK perspective, I've heard from several quarters that it's debatable whether not or the Lakeland 100 is tougher. It's hard for me to answer that one, as although I've done the 50 on three separate occasions I've never done the L100 and am unlikely to try, however I have to dispute it. I know the L100 route well and can be found up in the fells most weekend, there are no climbs or terrain up there that even compare to the monster climbs you find on the UTMB, the overall distance is about the same but 20,000ft versus 32,000ft? I don't think so. I only know one guy who has done both (twice) and he just laughed at the suggestion.

Looking forward, I want to return to the Alps, it's a lovely place and I miss it greatly. In my dreams I'm wealthy enough to buy a little apartment in Chamonix or Courmayeur (I'm not), so the best I can do is visit whenever I can. How soon can I make it happen? I'd better give the old piggy bank a good shake!

A Green and Pleasant Land?

I went for a run the other night, on the road. Nothing unusual or outstanding about that I know, but it's the first run at a sustained pace (albeit HR-constrained) I've done in over two months, so it was a big deal. It was on a timed route that I use and was slow and clunky, but given my ongoing battle with health issues, well, I am going to take it as a positive. No pain from knees or in fact anywhere else, no pain relief involved either.

I have been out on the fells and trails of late though, also been doing quite a bit of swimming. It's much more forgiving off-road and if my HR dictates that I walk, I don't feel quite as much of a twat for doing so. What struck me last night - obviously because I haven't cruised those lanes for a while - was how much crap and litter there is on our roads. Even nice, country lanes like you get up here in North Yorkshire have tons of discarded crap in the ditches and hedgerows, it really is a desperate, crying shame The worst bits where we live are the approach roads to the Army Foundation College, what happens is that the lads who are returning to base just chuck their food wrappers/fag packets/beer cans out of the window before they get to the gate, the result is .... well, exactly what you'd expect. If I was the RSM I'd have the little b*****ds out on working parties cleaning it up, but I suppose this is politically incorrect nowadays. When I joined the navy, the training establishments I went through and the roads leading to them were absolutely immaculate, I hope I don't sound like a stupid old git, because it really wasn't that long ago.

Litter and detritus in public places like this pisses me off, but finding the same on the fells and moors makes me even more angry. I can't understand the mentality of the people who dump stuff in wild, beautiful places. Who the hell do they think cleans it up? Idiots like me, that's who. My pet peeve is dicarded clothing, because while litter will eventually be picked up, nobody wants to pick up a manky old sock or top and stuff it in their rucksack and who can blame them? I know a nice track that leads over the moors high in Nidderdale, if you just peek the other side of the drystone wall that borders the road there is literally a pile of discarded underwear .... WTF? I have a friend at work who assures me that this particular location is where the inhabitants of a well-known Nidderdale village go for a bit of afternoon sex and to conduct illicit liasons, but why the hell do they have to leave their pants behind? I wonder how long a pair of tights or nylon knickers take to bio-degrade? They just don't do they? The things have the nuclear half-life of uranium. Wonderful, just the thing you want to see when setting off on a nice trek in an area of outstanding beauty.

I can feel my blood-pressure going up here .... it's crap, it really is. Are we failing as a nation to impress on young people that just dumping stuff everywhere is the wrong thing to do? I'm not even going to start on fly-tipping, we suffer from that in the Yorkshire Dales big time

I was talking to the warden at the Wasdale NT campsite a few years ago and he told me that every Monday morning they have to go round with a sack to pick up the discarded socks and pants that the Three Peakers that descend on the place just chuck away as part of their Scafell Pike assault. Also, they have do a weekly trek up the tourist path to the summit to remove much of the same. I know this is true, I've been up that path myself and discarded kit, trekking poles, sleeping bags abound. Piles of toilet paper behind every rock.

A Green and Pleasant Land? It won't be for much longer if this carries on.